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#1
May 01, 2011, 03:48 AM
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I have a good idea what is contributing to my stress right now but I can't get on grip on my emotions. I've been so irritable, angry and moments of sadness. My angry is getting worst and I hate feeling this way. I just don't know how to handle my emotions right now. I'm in a relationship and I yell and scream all the time at my bf. Everything irritates me, nothing he does can ever pleases me. I hate where I am right now in life and I just don't know how or where to go from here.
At my current situation I am looking for a new home. I just left my parents home where I moved back for the last two months. My father, brother and I have been physically fighting with one another to where I had to call the cops on them. No one in that home is willing to stand up for me and at the end of the day it is my fault on why my brother threw me up against the wall and how he had me in a choke hold. It is all my fault. I left home and now looking for a room to rent from strangers. I am so angry at my family and I am angry at myself that I'm turning 30 in a month and I still dont have the life I dreamed of. I graduated with a BA in social work last year and I still dont have a job. My relationship with my bf is no where near perfect. I am not happy whatsoever. |
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#2
May 01, 2011, 01:42 PM
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Quote:
__________________
Now if thou would'st When all have given him o'er From death to life Thou might'st him yet recover -- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631 |
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#3
May 01, 2011, 03:23 PM
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jenn, sounds like you nailed it-STRESS. it can make me irritable, angry, explosive, etc. it sounds like stress and the family issues are causing this. as for your family..you aren't being validated. and of course being thrown up against the wall is never acceptable/abuse. i'm glad you are getting away from that environment. a healthy emotional distance from them will help, imho.
you are younger than you think...lots of good life ahead of you. plus educated. jobs are very very hard to find right now, so it's not your failure in landing something. just keep chipping away at interviewing. the more you do the sharper you'll be for that job you really want. i hope things improve for you. hope you'll keep us posted if things do or don't improve now that you're on your own. hugs, jenn 
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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#4
May 01, 2011, 04:06 PM
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stress? let me get his right, your pushing thirty and moaning about not being able to live with your parents and brother any longer? what have you done with your life to still be living at home with your mom and dad at that age? maybe you think your leaving to soon? is that why your stressed? if indeed that is the case then grow up, move out and use your recent qualification stand on your own two feet before you have to do a re-sit to keep your qualification current.
__________________
"The journey is one in which hope alternates with despair, reality with illusion, promise with denial, mental trial with mood swung elation, and a sniff of immortality with its ravaged counterpart; the awareness of bodily death" William Beckford's Vatrek. Circa 1786 |
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#5
May 01, 2011, 11:29 PM
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Jenn-
I'm also around your age, but have been independent of my parents since I was 19. I came from a chaotic home environment, experiencing pervasive physical/emotional abuse. We often have a compulsion to repeat our childhood experiences in our adult relationships. I've struggled with my anger for years (not physically violent) and through therapy, have come to realize that much of that emotion is connected to the physical/emotional abuse that I suffered as a child. If you have the resources, I recommend seeking therapy to explore these aspects of yourself. It's been a godsend for me.
__________________
The past isn't dead, it isn't even the past. -William Faulkner |
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#6
May 02, 2011, 08:36 PM
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I agree with Transcending1. Anyone that comes from that kind of volatile environment will have scars (PTSD even?) Therapy.....it helps put things in perspective and understand things better. Who wouldn't be stressed? Just one of these things would be stressful. Try to keep positive on the job hunt, I know that is stressful, just try tackling on stressful item at a time, if you can.....I don't know if it will help, if you haven't heard of it already....Knock 'em Dead series, helped me destress over job interviewing, etc.
You already have one notch on your belt, you got your degree! That's fantastic! Good for you! Hang in there, and keep us all posted.... |
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