[IceCreamKid]

During the week I ride the bus back and forth to work. I like riding the bus. At work I am trying to learn a lot of new stuff. My boss spends a lot of time at my desk. I now find I cannot face going out on the weekend. It's as if having to be pressed up against people coming and going and to 'entertain' my boss almost all day is too much humanity for me. I've thought about how silly that all sounds, but I think for me, it really is too much people, not enough solitude. I like riding the bus, but I don't like being crowded. I like learning new things, but my brain is about ready to explode and while I appreciate my boss training me, when I am not training I want to be left alone, not forced to make small talk with someone who is so competitive, everything is a case of "anything you can do I can do better" -- and I mean anything, I don't mean just work stuff, I mean everything. Being forced to talk to someone all day who has to be better all the time, all day everyday is exhausting.
I need to be able to go to the store; I think for my mental health I should be getting outside, but I am sitting here thinking I don't think I can face another Monday-Friday. I am taking citalopram but it's almost like it makes me feel worse. Is that possible? The only time lately I have gone out to the store on the weekend was when my cat needed cat food. During the week, if I need something, I get off the bus and when I reach home, I get into my car before I even go in the house and immediately drive to the store; I then try to buy everything I think I'll need for the week, but usually I will just go without whatever it is; unless it is for my cat. But normally when I get home I need to decompress and on the weekend, I almost cry with relief at finally having some peace. It's like I am getting too much stimuli. I needed to tell someone this to help me figure it out. Is this anxiety?

[Leed]

This is definitely anxiety, and you'd better talk with a professional about it before it goes into full-blown agoraphobia!! Then you won't be able to go ANYWHERE at all !! This can be a serious disorder. If you don't already have a therapist, you need to find a good one to talk with.

I wish you the best of luck ~ but please get some help soon. God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[sundog]

Hi ((((((((((Ice))))))))))) I can totally understand why you would feel the need to take a break from social interaction at weekends after such intense human contact at work. I am also someone who needs a lot of solitude and I would certainly be exhausted after the work week you just described. I can really relate also to what you say about over-stimulation and needing to de-compress.

I'm hoping that the training period you are going through will be finished soon? I can imagine that you will feel much less drained then. It does sound as though it is the immediate situation - having to interact so closely with your boss - that is causing you to feel so exhausted. And that is totally understandable. Though, obviously if you continue to feel this way then it would be well worth talking to your doc about the Citalopram.

In the meantime I'm thinking maybe you could do things like go for walks at the weekend?? That way you would get out of the house, but you wouldn't need to talk to anyone. You could just enjoy your natural surroundings while you were out hiking and hopefully that would feel relaxing and hopefully it might also lift your mood?

Many hugs to you (((((((Ice)))))))

[IceCreamKid]

I thought about whether it was agoraphobia but it isn't being in a store that bothers me so much; it's the "gotta go do this now because I gotta go do this now" that is just one too many straws for this old camel's back. The extended blustery weather has sort of encouraged me to take the path of least resistence (and to stay home when not working) but you're right, it has gone on too long. If I have to wear my winter coat and mittens, I am going to get outside and walk. It's what I enjoy most and it's foolish for me to deny myself that pleasure. Monday is going to come regardless. Thanks for the suggestions! If things don't improve soon, I'll let my doctor know; she really is interested in helping me.

[PurplePaisley]

I can totally relate, both to the too many people thing AND to the wanting to stay home thing. I hope your Monday is positive, and I hope your Dr. can help!

[IceCreamKid]

I like the name PurplePaisley. I keep telling myself it's gotta get better. It's gotta get better! Now for a little Fred Astaire therapy. Thank you.

[Open Eyes]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

I like the name PurplePaisley. I keep telling myself it's gotta get better. It's gotta get better! Now for a little Fred Astaire therapy. Thank you.

Now thats the spirit IcecreamKid,

Hey with all that gotta do stuff, you have every right to need and want some down time. Too much of anything can cause anyone to want to shut off. Just think of your name, too much icecream could cause you to get sick of it.

Hey, it has been a bad winter, very cold, lots of snow. Spring is here, sun is staying around longer. Get as much sun as you can, vitamin D is very important and something very lacking in the winter. Even if you don't go for walks and just find a really sunny quiet spot and sit in it and relax.

Nothing wrong with wanting to take a break from people if there are too many around. Hey, just ignore that I can be better than you person. And when it starts to get to annoy you, well they can be better at shutting up too. LOL If you are ever challenged, well just tell them that.

Open Eyes

[IceCreamKid]

I want to thank you for your post. I enjoyed thinking about saying what you suggested. Too much ice cream??? Is that possible!?!?!?!?!?!? And here all this time I've been thinking too little!!!!! I think you're on to something with the vitamin d. I will try harder to get enough sunshine and vitamin d. I think you're right, I have been lacking. Thanks again

[love2drum]

Hi IceCreamKid (love that name!) I'm new....so just trying to become comfortable with everyone, you all seem very caring For what it's worth, I have an older sister that's just like that, and it's just totally exhausting! Who can be sucked into that kind of drama for a long period of time? It sounded like it was going on all day everyday.... I know when I'm around my sister any length of time, I have to have a break or I'll just crack...I just excuse myself for a moment (and then take a walk to the ladies room or ??? get a drink of water.....) really, it sounds to me as though this person is setting you up to be their personal back patter You teach people how to treat you, so be careful you don't just fall into their "lap" and give them exactly what they want....just a suggestion on being "kind" to yourself....?

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by love2drum

Hi IceCreamKid (love that name!) I'm new....so just trying to become comfortable with everyone, you all seem very caring For what it's worth, I have an older sister that's just like that, and it's just totally exhausting! Who can be sucked into that kind of drama for a long period of time? It sounded like it was going on all day everyday.... I know when I'm around my sister any length of time, I have to have a break or I'll just crack...I just excuse myself for a moment (and then take a walk to the ladies room or ??? get a drink of water.....) really, it sounds to me as though this person is setting you up to be their personal back patter You teach people how to treat you, so be careful you don't just fall into their "lap" and give them exactly what they want....just a suggestion on being "kind" to yourself....?

Have you ever had a vindictive boss?