How do you not be sensitive?

I've always been really sensitive for all my life. It is so easy to hurt me or make me feel bad. I wish that I didn't have all this sensitivity because it does nothing but cause me pain.

How do you get rid of a sensitive nature?

I don't know how to answer that question myself but I'd like to thank you for posting this thread as I too was wondering what the answer to that would be. I'm looking forward to what people will come up with.

Anyone have any answers? I'm curious too....

I used to be very sensitive and I still am to some extent.
I find it helps to really look inside when something upsets me and ask myself some questions.
What upset me?
Why did this upset me?
Do I really need to be upset over this?
Could I possible not be upset over this?
Is it possible I am overreacting a little?
Wouldn't is feel better to not be upset over this?

Breath in... Out... and try to let go.

It was hard at first and did not always work.
I found that the more I stick to it, the easier it becomes.
When you do this you are making a new habit, and changing they way your thought patterns work.

It might not be easy but it gets easier and before I knew it, things that bothered me before no longer bothered me.

As hard as it is, being sensitive to others means that one is not sensitive enough to one's self. If you don't have much self esteem or know yourself well enough, it's too easy to care what others are saying and doing instead of concentrating on what you want and are doing.

Everyone has their "goals", what they'd like and are working on. If you are working on finding a job, (as an example) and have decided to go to the library from 9:00 a.m. to Noon everyday and research/work on getting interviews, etc. your friends, loves, parents, teachers, anyone else saying, "Gee, you are lazy only working 4 hours instead of all day. . ." should not bother you because you are doing your thing, for your life, your way!

However, if what someone else says does impact how you feel (strangers or what "others" online/on the TV, etc. are saying/doing shouldn't impact you much at all, ever), it is a good idea to look at what they SAY, not how you feel! You do have to do some reality checking. If you parents say they think you're lazy and you are living at home, on their money, they may have a valid reason for saying what they say and you have to appraise it realistically. Looking for a job an hour a day and "hanging out" for the other 7+ when you should be "working" is not appropriate if you are living off someone else.

But, the short answer is that you should look at what is SAID, rather than how you feel. Concentrating on how hurt you are doesn't help at all, looking at the situation and checking to see if it is "your" problem or the other person's can help a lot. What other people say is their opinion and is not about "you" primarily but about them and how they see you. How THEY see you is not how YOU are.

Wanted to send you a big hug.

I've been working on this for awhile now...I have a collection of symptoms or things I notice about myself that is part of my recovery for emotional intensity

Sensitivity - Inability to tolerate levels of anxiety, frustration, rejection and loss; as well as, the inability to soothe and comfort myself when I become upset. I am very sensitive to things happening around me in my environment. Examples: Schedule changes, someone canceling appointment or meeting, loss of external structures. People around me may feel as though they need to walk on egg shells. Picture a person with severe sunburn, and you will begin to feel the pain at the slightest touch or movement

Lost in Translation – others may feel like their exchange is lost in translation. I can misinterpret everything from a conversation to a facial expression. Constructive criticism may be viewed as an assault on my intelligence, self-worth, or integrity. You may say I made a mistake; I interpret this as you saying I’m stupid. I’ll take that even further stupid à not a good father or friend à worthless à Why should I live. Or you may do nothing at all. Either way, I get angry and turn on myself and sometimes may be passive-aggressive toward you.

I think recognizing that it is happening is a big part...the next step I'm working through now is what to do to better process this all so it has less affect on my self-worth

Hello, SlatkaMala.

http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfu...are-not-facts/
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...our-agreements
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/mindfu...n-miguel-ruiz/
http://www.more-selfesteem.com/newsletter50.htm
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archive...ng-personally/
http://www.unitychapelhill.org/talks...Personally.pdf
http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/1752
http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/21307

Be well.

I would have zero desire to get rid of my sensitive nature. It's a gift, one not everyone has been given. My sensitive nature allows me to get joy from the songs of birds, the beauty of the sunrise and the tender helplessness of a baby. It makes me want to be kind to people and animals. Extremes of anything can be problematic though; there is a good post below that illustrates sensitivity at an extreme level; sensitivity that I would actually call a low tolerance for frustration. Understanding your sensitive nature might be the first step to enjoying it more.

Exactly! Ice cream kid! IT IS a gift, although it can be painful. There is a book called The HSP (Highly sensitive personality).....I am sensitive to sounds, touch, even my teeth, gums and skin highly sensitive......I cannot bear any chaos (which is ironic, because I lived with abuse and chaos in a childhood and then 31 years of abuse in a marriage).

I have no idea how to stop being sensitive; I wouldn't want to be......I wouldn't feel in touch/tune with the world and people; although it is painful to live in a world, which in essence, is INsensitive.

Hugs, Marie

My sensitivity will help me in my profession (mental health) and I have such a perception about people, which is usually correct. i try to live in the moment.

I read an article about sensitivity....it said that we need more sensitive people;without them we would not have beauty in the world; poetry, etc., etc.......I think most people are INsensitive, and those of the highly sensitive nature only make up about 10% of the population.

Im this way too.I hate it .You arent alone

I would say there is a difference between living in joy and being overly sensitive. What if you found something fun and healthy that gave your self esteem a boost?
~J

I should clarify that the post I meant was by Direction, and it actually appears on my monitor higher than my original post, not below it. You seem to be combining physical sensation with emotions. I understood the original poster to mean emotional sensitivity. So my comments may mean little to her if she was actually referring to physical pain or sensations.

I guess I think of sensitivity as possibly, in some people, crossing over into being thin-skinned. This world definitely needs more sensitive people; there are far too many oblivious, self-absorbed ones out there. I would like to think of myself as sensitive; however, I know for a fact that I am thin-skinned -- the slightest perceived insult by someone, or the worry that I have annoyed someone, can ruin my whole day.

Hugs to you, SlatkaMala

I have that HSP book. It does make a lot of sense.

I think sensitive people are artists; they see beauty and are basically ordered in their thinking. We are in the minority, but have to develop inner strength and resolve to establish boundaries with others, especially in workplace situations, and, of course, relationships.

I think the thing ....for me...that sucks about being sensitive is,I can't hide anything inside,I am an open book.Have a hard time covering my feelings,certainly can't lie if asked a direct question,facial expressions give me away....and the result is that my emotions or moods 'touch others.I really hate it about me.Just sounding in on the thread lol....

I could say "Thanks" on each and every remark on this.

I'm sensitive, thin skinned, an over thinker.....all of the above. Stressful to say the least. And like wolfsong I'm easily read. I don't think this makes me weak but I often wish my "brick wall" was made of more than tissue paper

I think for me...an over-reaction to today's hurt comes from yesterday's pain.

Being overly sensitive could indicate a self-esteem problem. When you're overly concerned with what others think of you, you're basing your sense of self-worth on what others think of you.

I had that problem for a long time. It was the source of much anxiety and pain. Some words by Nathaniel Branden changed my life. To paraphrase: Don't settle for a bit part in your own life; play the leading role. You are not here on earth to live up to someone else's expectations.

Also, the practice of mindfulness and mindfulness meditation can reduce the worry and ruminations that often accompany being overly sensitive to what others think of you.