[Jazz91]

My son has been miserable for 3 days now I think he is teething and nothing is working I wish things would just stop I wish the world would stop so that I could give him my complete and undivided attention but the housework wont stop the world wont stop and I feel like a failure cuz the world wont stop and I cant be there for my son when he needs me cuz I need to keep my house organised

My partner is willing to help but I am to proud to admit to my partner, my partner who works 55 hour weeks to support our family When he helps i feel guilty cuz he already does so much and there is nothing i can do

[madisgram]

jazz none of us are perfect in all we do. you sound like a good mom. baby will overcome the discomfort once the teeth start coming thru. many of us moms have gone thru this with our child. will baby suck on a cold cloth? that will numb the gums. or baby tylenol? not sure if baby is old enough but check it out. rubbing the gum for baby helps too.
as for the housework, try to realize for this moment some things can slide. telling bf re house will relieve your concientious mind.
you can google teething for ideas too that you may not be aware of for solutions. here's one..
http://health.howstuffworks.com/well...-teething1.htm

I'm so sorry things are so tough right now. Comforting a teething, irritable baby isn't an easy job for any mom; I remember those bygone days very well. I would say to you to relax on the "guilt" issue regarding your partner "helping out". The reality is he might be working 55 hours a week but you are doing a LOT more hours than that! Mothers/homemakers often forget that they don't get to punch out and go home from their work. You're on full time duty, Jazz. It's almost 24/7. Your little guy might go to bed but there's still work to do and you have to get your own rest so you can get up the next day and start all over again. Your partner pulling his share of the housework and child care is part of the deal when two people are building a family. Take care and be kind to yourself!

[Direction]

Also, it's ok during times you are stress to relax a little on things that "need" to get done around the house.

[krazy_phoenix]

You are doin a great job Jazz! You deserve a huge pat on the back. It is very challenging raising children, and yet here you are, being a young mum, and having mental health challenges AS WELL!! Thats a huge accomplishment!!

We have three littlies IRL, 5,3,&1 yo's. I had a great midwife that has become a friend, when she pops in, she goes straight to the kitchen to see if its tidy... now before you think OMG how dare she!!!??, she does it to make sure the kitchen IS a mess because that means I've been payn more attention to children, less to housework. And with 3 littlies, there is ALWAYS a mess needing cleaning up somewhere!!

Sometimes we are quite incapacitated by our mental illness, and rely heavily on husband who also works long hours. But the point is is that it is "sometimes" not all the time. Your partner needs to PARENT too, and thats not just about the good stuff, not just about playing, or discipline, but about supporting you to be the best parent that you can be as your bub's primary carer. And as already mentioned, being a parent to young children IS a 24/7 job, and that is going to last for a few years yet! Don't worry about other new mums, or what their houses look like. Your priority is your bub, so shuffle the cares of what your house looks like down the priority list way under 'doing what 'needs' to be done', and making sure your little one is at the top with your needs a very close second (and having a clean house does not qualify as one of your 'needs'!!). You are doing THE most important job on the planet. Think about what you would like to model for your son... Would you like your son to see that a man is just as capable of doing housework, of supporting their partner in their home, a mum who will put the mop down because he is more important? Or would you like your son to see that housework is women's work, and is more important than his needs? Sure he might be too young in the moment to have large comprehension of this, but this is practice time for you too, and for your partner. Start now.

Teething is tricky and in our experience the severity of symptoms depends on age of child/temperament of child/type of tooth being cut, so no one rule fit every time. But one thing did work all the time, albeit very difficult and time consuming for me, was carrying baby when they are being so needy. We have a sling and a BabyBjorn pouch carrier for when they can sit up. Sometimes the only medicine a miserable child in pain needs is MUM, being held, being close, hearing her heart, her breathing. Putting bub in a sling meant for us that we could still get things done like putting out the washing, vacuuming (our kids loved us vacuuming while they were 'strapped' on), folding clothes, etc. Paracetamol will take away the pain, but not the pine, only you can do that. Ignore that fact and you will have a crying baby that no pill can fix!

I'm sure you know the basic teething help stuff and have bought gizmoes and gadgets to put in the fridge to help soothe inflammed gums (theres a lot out there!), but if bub is at a point where he'll only stop crying when you pick him up, then that is what needs to be done. That is what your sole job will be for the next 1,2,5,12, 24,48 hours. You HAVE to let all else slide, for both your sakes. You know from experience already that these times of 'intense need' don't last. Put up a sign in your kitchen that says,' This time will pass' or 'This will not last'. It works to remind you that they are babies for such a short time as well as that they are not sick forever (though it can seem like it in the moemnt!!).

Do you have family around you? What state in Oz are you? If you don't have family, and are in NSW, there are some programs that are kind of like 'rent-a-grandma', retired older people who come over for a chat to talk about the weather/general advice on bub/etc, a cuppa, and a sit and chat w baby while you can have an hour to yourself to get in a shower etc. (its not a babysitting service, its a 'we understand that it takes a community to raise a child' venture). Its a great program where the 'grandma's' get something out of it too if they don't have family that live near them. Most these women aren't elderly, just the age of maybe your mum.

I know how isolating it can be, and frustrating, and joyful, and ..... (enter any emotion/feeling you can think of here) being a mum, esp one with mental health challenges to navigate as well. Its not an easy path, but it is a rewarding one. And YOU are doing a REALLY GREAT JOB.

If I can be of any help to you, being a mum with mental health challenges living in Oz too, please feel free to PM me anytime...

Tc,
kp

[whenwillitend]

Jazz, teething babies are quite demanding. It's okay to let the housework go for a while and just tend to your little one and yourself. A little bit of dust won't kill anyone. Have you tried the baby orajel? It was a lifesaver when my kids were teething. Frozen washcloths work well too.

You are such a great mommy, being so concerned about your child's needs! And don't worry aobut your partner working too much to help out. Being a mom is a 24/7 job. It never ends. We don't get days off, holidays, or weekends. Give yourself some credit for doing such a wonderful job! I doubt your partner minds helping you out. Raising a baby is a lot easier when you make it a joint effort.

And really, with the housework, prioritize. See what REALLY needs done NOW, and let everything else go. Plus, when my kids were babies, I'd put them in the BabyBjorn carrier and just carry them around with me while I was doing housework. That way we got to bond, AND I got stuff done. My babies LOVED it! Do you have one of those? Have you tried that?

Good luck to you, being a new mom is so incredibly exhausting.

[ECHOES]

when my kids were babies, I'd put them in the BabyBjorn carrier and just carry them around with me while I was doing housework. That way we got to bond, AND I got stuff done. My babies LOVED it! Do you have one of those? Have you tried that?

This is a wonderful idea! Your son will be comforted by being close to you when he's not feeling well.

Have you visited the pediatrician to see if there is anything that can help your son feel better?

[whenwillitend]

How are you doing Jazz? Have things gotten a bit easier for you?

[Jazz91]

Originally Posted by whenwillitend

How are you doing Jazz? Have things gotten a bit easier for you?

no only harder i hate the fact that i cant do anything

[madisgram]

Originally Posted by Jazz91

no only harder i hate the fact that i cant do anything

The Early Days With a Newborn Are Tough

by: Felicity

One of the best pieces of advice I was given as a new mum was 'when you and/or your baby are feeling overwhelmed, lonely or miserable, put the baby in the stroller and go for a walk. Even if you don't feel like it, are exhausted, have a million things to do and it feels like too much trouble, do it.
Obviously you may not be able to do this if it's snowing or whatever (not sure where you live) and it may not be a great idea at 3am, but it was great advice. Somehow, getting out and about helps. You feel less hemmed in by the four walls of your home, you and baby get some fresh air and hopefully some sunlight on your skin, the motion of the stroller soothes bub and you'll feel better for the exercise.

And if you smile, you'll probably have people stop to admire bub and have a short chat which can make all the difference if you're having a bad day.

Try it - it really works! And I have to confess, I really did take one of my sons for a walk in the stroller at about 1am on a balmy Sydney night!
~~~~

Edward Christophersen, Clinical Psychologist

Yes, absolutely. Between the physical and emotional changes you're going through and the increased responsibility, it's not surprising that you feel this way. Also, the desire to do everything "right" puts a great deal of pressure on a new parent. As you become more comfortable with tasks like feeding, diapering, and bathing your baby, you'll probably feel more confident and in control.

Try and take things one day at a time, and find support. Talk to another parent, a friend, or a family member about what you're feeling. Also, find some time for yourself — even something as small as a brief walk around the neighborhood or an uninterrupted bath can help you cope with stress. If you're still overwhelmed by the end of the first month or so, it could be a sign of postpartum depression. Make an appointment with your doctor to talk things through and get some help.
~~~~~

Heres a good article, Jazz: http://articles.familylobby.com/59-i...nts-can-ta.htm

hope this helps!