[moonbeam2]

i get up today ,its ok mid day i go to get on the computer & i have no internet serves ,i tried to do that fix it for me ,it didnt work i played around for a few min trying to see if i can fix it ,my son asked i said let me try something first it didnt work ,all the sudden i bacame confused i was very upset i got very tired when i get nervous or scared or worried all i wanna do is sleep ,really like i cant keep my eyes open it gets pretty bad,so my husband called to tell me he was on his way home & i breft him on what was going on he told me he would fix it when he got home all i kept thinking is i lost this websight ,& it helps me so much what was i gonna do meanwhile i have a desktop & another labtop i wasent thinking clearly though im obsest with this websight its my new life another tool for me it gives me alittle more independence so i slept till he got home when he did i rushed downstairs just put it infront of him without even saying hello just fix it please oh the thing about this comp is its allmine no one ever uses it,so he goes to put on glasses & my son says let me see if i can fix it i couldent finish a sentence i kept repeating just um just um i was trying to say fix it but i couldent find the words they wouldent come out ,so within a min my son fixes it he is 14yrs old & i looked at him & started to ball my eyes out i was crying bad & i said why didnt you do that earlier why did you let me get so stressed out he came over & gave me a hug & said he was sorry he thought i fixed it ,i feel bad now cause i shouldent have put my issues on him like that,but my biggest question is why do i get so confused that nothing makes any sence & i get extreemly tired i cant controll it ,doese anyone eles get this way or is it just me ,i had to go see my shrink & i had to cancel cause i was so upset ,witch is the perfect time to go see him but i even got that backwards,i really wish i had more controll of my emotions ,or maybe i should rely on myself then rely on a websight i dont understand,it did end up being a good night went to car show & went to dinner with family once i got myself back together again took about a hr for me to calm down i dont no i need help

[Open Eyes]

(((((Moonbeam2))))))
It's ok, you are having trouble with containing your anxiety. You have found this site very calming and supportive and a place to release your thoughts. The other thing that is happening that you havent realized yet is what PC means to you is a quiet comfort. It is a place to come, just for you, where you can share your thoughts instead of keeping them pent up. Apparently you really need to do that. Coming to PC and reading posts and then participating is very helpful for your brain. When we use our frontal lobe of our brains in a situation like PC it can help us slow down the activity and in doing so slow down and calm our brains.

I am not sure what type of bipolar you have but sometimes with bipolar the brain can race and build up on the emotional scale or even dip to a more depressive stage, that is why you got very tired and even tearful. You have discovered that you are enjoying PC and it can calm and make you feel stable and have your own space.
And it is nice to talk to others that share your concerns, it can be so comforting to hear someone say, yes, me too. In hearing that you don't feel so alone and your are more encouraged in that.

Make sure you keep your next appointment with your therapist and make sure you bring this event up. It is important to know you just learned something, you need your own time out, PC has helped you with that. It is also good to pick up reading, that too will help your brain calm down and allow you a time out.

When events like this happen it is another opportunity to learn something about yourself.

((((((((Moonbeam2))))))) see what you did at the end of your post, that is something else you needed. But you recovered because your husband and son made sure you got the attention you needed. It is never too late to tell them again that you really appreciated their patience and kindness and that was very supportive of them.

Open Eyes

[lad007]

Thank you both for posting today, I just dipped and was crying because my husband turned down the water when I was watering my vegetables. This is a very minor thing, but I started to think he wanted to divorce me. Anyone but you all would think this a strange thought.
Coming and reading this has calmed me, and help me put this in perspective, and realize I am not alone.

[Open Eyes]

((((((lad007))))))
Glad to see that you have found some comfort and are realizing your not alone.
Welcome to PC and may you find it to be comforting and helpful.
Open Eyes

[cin1]

Originally Posted by moonbeam2

i get up today ,its ok mid day i go to get on the computer & i have no internet serves ,i tried to do that fix it for me ,it didnt work i played around for a few min trying to see if i can fix it ,my son asked i said let me try something first it didnt work ,all the sudden i bacame confused i was very upset i got very tired when i get nervous or scared or worried all i wanna do is sleep ,really like i cant keep my eyes open it gets pretty bad,so my husband called to tell me he was on his way home & i breft him on what was going on he told me he would fix it when he got home all i kept thinking is i lost this websight ,& it helps me so much what was i gonna do meanwhile i have a desktop & another labtop i wasent thinking clearly though im obsest with this websight its my new life another tool for me it gives me alittle more independence so i slept till he got home when he did i rushed downstairs just put it infront of him without even saying hello just fix it please oh the thing about this comp is its allmine no one ever uses it,so he goes to put on glasses & my son says let me see if i can fix it i couldent finish a sentence i kept repeating just um just um i was trying to say fix it but i couldent find the words they wouldent come out ,so within a min my son fixes it he is 14yrs old & i looked at him & started to ball my eyes out i was crying bad & i said why didnt you do that earlier why did you let me get so stressed out he came over & gave me a hug & said he was sorry he thought i fixed it ,i feel bad now cause i shouldent have put my issues on him like that,but my biggest question is why do i get so confused that nothing makes any sence & i get extreemly tired i cant controll it ,doese anyone eles get this way or is it just me ,i had to go see my shrink & i had to cancel cause i was so upset ,witch is the perfect time to go see him but i even got that backwards,i really wish i had more controll of my emotions ,or maybe i should rely on myself then rely on a websight i dont understand,it did end up being a good night went to car show & went to dinner with family once i got myself back together again took about a hr for me to calm down i dont no i need help

I am no good at fixing things, computers , putting furniture together, putting toliet seats on (although i did it, i was sweating for a long time while doing it and later.) some things are worth being upset about, others not so much. i get impaient at times and do something wrong when if i had waited, my husband could have done it. ( i broke the stand on our Christmas tree trying to put it up. never got another one.) helps me if i stay calm. cin1

[Willcat]

Originally Posted by moonbeam2

my biggest question is why do i get so confused that nothing makes any sence & i get extreemly tired i cant controll it ,doese anyone eles get this way or is it just me

When a problem arises like losing my internet connection I have a hard time figuring things out too. I'll start to try and understand the problem, but the anxiety starts too. Then the confusion starts as well as I work to resolve the problem. My thoughts just seem to get all jumbled together and I just cant think clearly.

The things that helps me is to take a short break, calm down and go back to working the problem. I may have to take many breaks to work out one problem. It may take 3 or 4 hours to find a solution with all those breaks. But I plod on until I find what I need to do. Its not easy by no means, I can relate to you.

[unaluna]

In 1999 I was still working as a computer programmer, but I did not have a computer at home. My T LOVED computers and couldn't believe it.

One day in his waiting room I read a computer magazine about the ten most common things that can go wrong with your home computer. When he came out to get me, I almost screamed at him, THIS IS WHY! I got so anxious just reading the article!

I told him, I can't fix these things! If this happens at work, I call a guy. If it happened at home, who would I call? So I TOTALLY understand you - and I had so many years experience in computers. But the kids can fix them - good thing you have one!

I'm glad your day turned out okay after all. I love and depend on this website too.