[Adelissa]

I am feeling alone and lonely, but it isn't I want someone over to chat with or whatever, I have a bad back injury and am having a hard time working myself up to do the laundry and I have next to no support. I need someone to come over and help but I posted on facebook about how alone and unloved I feel and I had like 20 posts of how they all love and care about me, but I need someone to love me enough to come over and help me figure out how to get my house in order. Is it just that I have a different love language (actions speak louder than words kinda thing) or am I being unfair to want that, they all know I have health problems and what I am dealing with having to move out but no one has actually offered to come over, and I feel afraid of rejection if I ask. My own sister won't do anything but ask me out for coffee, IDK am I being unfair? I know everyone has their own lives to live but I really am at the end of my rope, there has to be someone that can help me? I am going back to the doctor Monday to find out how long this back injury should take to heal. The pain is the worst I have ever been in (and I am a 2 time cancer survivor with 4 surgeries so it is BAD) I have vicodin and tylenol 3 and Ibuprofen and am trying to alternate so I don't get immune to the vicodin because it has happened before, and that is the only one that gives me enough relief to sleep at night. Anyway I would feel guilty regardless to sit here and watch someone clean my house. I just don't know what else to do.

[unaluna]

Two suggestions: 1. you tell the boys in the house that if they don't pitch in physically and do some work, they are going to have to pitch in financially aa you are going to have to hire a Molly Maid once or twice to get the place cleaned up for the landlord's inspection.

2. You call the city and tell them you need help, they should be able to find you someone, either volunteer or pay.

I think getting relatives to help is like borrowing money between relatives, because time is money, no? Plus with all the hoarders shows on tv (not saying you are a hoarder, but I am pretty close) AND especially with the bedbug problem, they are almost guaranteed bringing the bedbug problem to their own home. Oh about the hoarders - it's frustrating to just see it get messed up again. When I was living with my mother, it seemed like she took my cleaning an area up as a signal to immediately mess it up again! Like the basement kitchenwhich was very cold and lonely to clean, but warm to cook in, right? It was horrible. Anyway, good luck to ya. There are so many services available in your area, you are lucky for that.

[OurLadysTears]

It sounds like people do care, but they aren’t aware of the trouble you are having. I think you have to actually open yourself up more and ask for help. You might get rejection from those that don’t have the time, but I’m sure they still care and I’m sure there is someone out there that can help you get down the right path. I wish I were there! I would definitely help you! *hugs*

[gma45]

I have a hard time asking for help also. Sometimes we need to just put our pride aside and ask. I think you have lots of people that care and love you they are just unsure of your needs. I would help too if I was there. Take care of that back and don't over do it. Hankster had great ideas that may be worth a try. Hugs!

[Adelissa]

Doctor said I should have visible improvement within a week and cleared me to go back to curves a week from today and take it slowly and listen to my body.
He said it is just as important to exercise as to rest because my back will get weak and make me prone to other injury. I guess the other problem is I can do housework, it is a little challenging but I make accomodations (sit in a chair when folding laundry, sit while cooking etc) my problem is the clutter. We are by NO means on hoarder level the problem is really me. I have gotten to the point with the bugs and all that I can't stand a single thing out of place, it actually gives me panic attacks and I have sized down SO much but I can't throw away things that don't belong to me and I don't want to bag on my brother he REALLY does help but it is baby steps (he loads the washer and dryer and forgets to actually put the clothes away = if I don't walk behind him everything will be wrinkly etc. and no stranger or even close friend who has never been in my house would know how to organize, i think I just need to relax this week and keep it from getting worse and hopefully I can get to where I need to be. We dont know if we still have bugs but there are things I should be doing to make sure in case eggs hatch they will die but I can't because my dad NEVER moves. I was told I can't really do anything unless I can get him declared incompetent. I did get him to agree to see a psychiatrist tomorrow, hopefully that will clear some things up. Incidentally (and I have really flipped out over people leaving dishes on the coffee table or clothes strewn around) Do I have a mental illness with clutter like the opposite of a hoarder. I don't have ocd at least the cleaning kind, I just want to live in a hotel basically lol. I can't stand everything not having a home and I need to think long term how to have the house I want when this is all over. Anyway I will keep the suggestions in mind. Once I have my house under control, and we know we are bug free, I want to do some entertaining, even if it is inviting friends over for coffee. My mom never let me have friends over for one reason or another and I have always wanted to cook for people and stuff. Problem is my Dad is ALWAYS on the couch so we are planning to make a room for him upstairs so we at least have our living room back. I think I will be ok but like you said, I have to ask for help, even if it is small things like can someone help me pack up my kitchen, i have never moved before and don't want to break anything etc. That is a task that wouldn't need much thinking on the part of a person helping me as to what goes where, I just need knowhow. I think as I feel better and better and can do more I will be able to get the things bugging me done. I also worry I am just having a good day mentally and the frustration, fear, and alone feeling will raise its ugly head again. Anyway just some stuff I emptied out of my brain. I am afraid i am always repeating myself, thank you all for so much understanding and listening it really really helps!

[Elvisfan]

Stay strong Adelissa I am new to here but your comment I can identify with. All the best and I try to just take 1 day at a time. Some days are better than others, I play games on the computer a lot or watch movies to occupy my racing mind Take care