[embracinglife]

I'm really pissed off at this whole situation with my roommate. She wants to move out of our apartment several months before our lease is up due to some health issues she is having in this apartment. I do not feel able to move at this time because of a lot of changes taking place in my life right now.

I've been trying to express these things to her - but every time I do she pretty much just goes to her room and calls friends and talks to them and I know that this is healthy for her to process whats going on, but it also hurts me because I think she is sometimes saying mean things about me.

I don't feel like I've said anything totally wrong to her or done anything wrong. However, this situation is probably causing both of us to feel hurt. I'm starting to feel like I don't want to live with her anymore. 1.) i don't feel I can trust her with a lease again and 2) I'm realizing that we may not be good/healthy for each other. We have both been through a lot and are both trying to heal - but I am realizing now that some of her behaviors are very triggering for me (i.e. outbursts of anger at me sometimes, talking about me behind my back over the phone when I can hear her...etc.)

She's told me she can't afford to pay me anything if she moves out. And at this point I'm willing to pay the full rent on my own and just let her leave if thats what she wants to do.

Any thoughts, advice, comments are welcome. I'm trying to get as much input into this situation as I can.

Hi,

If she is having health issues with the apartment, like allergies(?), then I think that is a problem for both of you, if you both want to continue being partners, which I'm assuming that you both are. If your starting to imagine or suspect that she is saying mean things about you, I think you need to check that out with her before you decide that it is true. Maybe she isn't saying mean things at all, and it is just your imagination playing tricks on you. If she is saying mean things about you, I think you two might need to discuss that, maybe with a therapist. Losing control of your angry emotions is very dangerous. I find that communicating helps me keep my anger and fears manageable. I hope you two can work this out in a constructive way

Peace, A.