Double Life

I go to church frequently. But because of my symptoms I get angry very often. My anger is causing me to live a double life. I dont like it. If I acted like I do on the inside on the outside I would get in trouble. I tend to hide my anger. I just thought it would help me to admit I'm living a double life. Its sort of a confession. Thanks for reading.

Can a mod please move this to the spiritual section?

Did you notice the thread Caretaker Leo started on dealing with anger in healthy ways? I'm having trouble doing that, but it's a good idea I think. To try, at least.

Anger can posses some things on a human... some things that would not be in our "norm"....

I at times feel like a split person(s) with things as well-- anger being one of them and the different angers that i get-- some of these angers do not match to the "norm beauflow" that people know---

CareTaker Leo *as RoadRunner said* Started a thread with anger here in coping in emotions- I hope that it keeps going-- I think it is a splendid idea

Be well!

Yeah, I know what you mean. I go to church too and know that the way I want to tell strangers to go to hell when they rub me the wrong way is NOT what Jesus (or any benevolent religious figure) would do. Good luck with the anger. I'm working on it too.

Thanks alot, was helpful to hear.

are there triggers that cause you to be angry?
is there something in your past that makes you angry or bitter?

people being wicked to me makes me angry. supposedly its all in my head.

people being disrespectful and rude don't dismiss it as you over reacting.
you have a mouth so use it, your worthy of respect.
don't allow people step all over you and over step boundaries.
this is what i am working on too.

Yes but what am I supposed to say? When I asked my bro why he was being mean he said he wasn't. My dad says its in my head, that im only hallucinating. What am I supposed to about it?

And sincerely, that's why you do (and everyone else too, including in church) live a double life....because the average person can't handle someone being himself. Their egos need support and unless you're going to support the egos around you, you can't be yourself and call it like you see it.

Ron

I've had a problem with anger and it came out at church without me thinking. I think a lot of Christians have become doormats for those who take advantage. Yes, Christians as well as others will take advantage. I have learned to emotionally remove myself from
the other person to a great extent. Their problems, should not become mine. When we react to thoughlessness, we become more into emotional bondage and are as guilty as the original offender. Maybe that's what the (supposed) doormat person is doing, being greater than the thoughtless person.

I hear you loud and clear on this one! It took me 44 years of being in the church to wake up to what was missing in my heart for my faith. I kept wondering when it was going to go from my head to my heart!

If you really openly consider it, "Christianity" is a mentality that one takes on not unlike anyone else with any other religion. It's either given to us as kids like with me, or it's taken on as an adult, typically in some kind of crisis leading to being "born again".

And what's interesting to witness is that Jesus never even heard of Christianity, nor was trying to create it. He was in fact trying to save his people from the dogmatic superstitions imposed by the religious elite. He wasn't trying to create another dogma. The dogma is the mentality. Jesus was the heart. The door mat "fact" is the manifestation of anything we do from our heads, from our logic. If the heart isn't behind it, then what we are doing is just going through the motions and becoming the doormat.

The dogma isn't the salvation, but the heart of Jesus. His true message is the salvation, however, that message is paradoxial making it almost impossible to be received. The dogmas didn't get the message and have turned Jesus's heart into a logical mentality with sweet words, but little transformation.

I came to learn that organized religion can't go from my head to my heart because it's an idea, not a realization. So I dropped it and never have I been closer to God or Jesus! Now I am just me and in awe of creation! I was able to achieve Jesus's "commandments" regarding love authentically, no imitation of Christ required!