The Tears I Hide

The truth is, i'm dying a little inside. The pain just don't go away. I have isolated myself from the world. I'm not ready to face people, but know i'm not doing myself any good by hiding myself away. I don't want to be depressed, BP or ADHD. People treat me different knowing i have this and i don't want them too. I feel i have no one to turn to and that hurts me even more. I know i'm in a dark place and it will pass. But when? I know everyone always ask how u r doing, but do they really care or are just being nice. I could sure use a hug.....

I understand your pain Laura, i don't ask if you are okay as a plesentry i ask because i care. Your depressing, BP and ADHD are not who you are but symptoms, people are cruel to judge and being in a small town is hard as i know from personal experience.

As for the isolation, i am struggling with this myself. I was told to get out more, meet people this would be good advice but like you i don't want to face the world.

It will change though Laura, please trust me with this.

Big hugs

I've seen you here & there on the forums but--mea culpa--just haven't taken the time to get to know you. You're a little younger than I was when I dropped my entire life on one coast & came to care for my Alzheimer's dad on the other coast. Triggered everything, & I then can empathize lots with you now--dying inside, intensifying pain, isolation. Are you by nature a cave person?

Laura Applegate is a gorgeous name. I looked in your profile & see we have things in common: depression, bipolar, substance abuse (I'm an alcoholic). I'm 65, tho--could be your mom! Are you your own healer? You don't mention having any support system, only people who you seem you maybe wish didn't know your mental health issues.

Except for the folks here, only my three best friends, doctors, and lawyer know mine. Two of the friends are my health care surrogates (have no family I'd want making life decisions for me, thank you). My employers do not know, well shouldn't know. The college is self-insured ... So...

I've got a terrific psychiatric who came this close to being bitten by me (long story) but my meds are now working swell . And I'm working with a new therapist & we seem to have great hope for each other so far.

I'd like to visit with you sometime. Up to you.

Take good care.

Roadrunner

When I first decided to change my life and to stop being so isolated I started with small steps like going on my porch or in my backyard. I just took it slow and a day at a time.

Big Hugs for you (((((((((Laura Applegate))))))))) I hope you are not too hard on yourself. People do care although I know at times it seems like they don't.

Dear Laura,
Sometimes tears can be soothing as a stream of love for yourself. Have a good cry dear one ! Pent up, sadness can drown you ! I send you a cyber kleenex and a

Shalom

Thanks so much for your post. I have gotten myself put back together and have got out of the house. But not before i had a good cry and let it all out. Taking small steps but at least they are ssteps in the right direction. Next week i'm even going to start exercising to help boost my wellness. Thanks again, you all were a big help.

The truth is, i'm dying a little inside. The pain just don't go away. I have isolated myself from the world. I'm not ready to face people, but know i'm not doing myself any good by hiding myself away. I don't want to be depressed, BP or ADHD. People treat me different knowing i have this and i don't want them too. I feel i have no one to turn to and that hurts me even more. I know i'm in a dark place and it will pass. But when? I know everyone always ask how u r doing, but do they really care or are just being nice. I could sure use a hug.....

I feel the same way sometimes.