[indigo1015]

I don't know how much more of this I can take... due to the fact that I am broke and unemployed (I'm trying to find work, but it's not easy these days), I'm stuck living with my parents. At age 25. This kills me, because I have to do everything their way, and I am constantly reminded (if not by them, certainly by me) that I am in THEIR house, not my own. I'm taking a few courses at the local college to try to advance my career, but I may have to give up on it, because, for various reasons, it looks like my dream is vaporizing before my very eyes into nothingness, and I can't really spare the expense. What I would LOVE to do is move to the mountains in Colorado - I have always loved being there, and I have family there as well. It wouldn't matter to me if I were working two or three jobs to pay the rent, because it would be rent for my own place. I feel like I am nothing, like I should never have been born. I constantly feel like nothing has gone right for so long for me, and, no matter how hard I try to be there for everyone, no one can bother to be there for me. My parents are too busy and stressed - they complain to me about their various health- and work-related issues, while I, the drudge, cook and clean and do their vet appointments and such. My friends are sympathetic, but apart from that, I haven't seen them in a few months. My priest is too busy to talk to me. The last time I discussed my conflicted feelings about God and my life with him was in September. I realize that life goes on, that I am far from the center of the universe, that there are so many who are starving and without clothes and shelter, and that really, I am very lucky. Don't think I don't know this. I am grateful for what I have, but I feel like I need to spread my wings and leave. I need to go onwards and upwards, and I can't right now, and that just kills me. I really do feel like I'm rotting away inside, and my recurring nightmare is that I will die in this house, an old woman who aged too young.

Sorry to hear that you are going through a rough time. You mentioned that you have family in Colorado...would they be willing to take you into their home while you get a job (or two) and make the money to afford rent for an apartment?

[likewater]

Im in colorado. I like it here. Sorry you are having rough time.(((indigo)))

[Justme_55]

Colorado might not be a bad idea; of course network your options there to try & land something before moving. I know how you feel I was forced to move states to move BACK in with my parents after my son was born because of inconsistency in income because of my job at the time and hours being cut. While I was very grateful for their help they would be the first to remind me of the help they were "giving." there's alot to be said for having your own place, it does wonders for self esteem and independence. Except when you have a house you can no longer afford due to not finding steady work and going back to school to occupy time because i was slowly climbing the walls. I say look for work in Colorado, the water tastes better there anyway. =)

[MsMesuggah]

Being dependent on one's parents can feel like regression...I had to stay with my parents when I was 34 once and just got my own place this past December after living with my sis and her passive-aggressive husband (long story) for almost 4 years ! You are still very young and have so much to look forward to being 25 ! As for seeing your priest ( I am Catholic too ) and now he is too busy to talk to you...SHAME on him ! Hang in there dear one and God Bless your hope for a new life in Colorado !

Shalom