[Mindinpieces]

This may sound silly and I have probably lost a few basics along the way in terms of understanding and common sense.

Have you ever been in situations where you think and feel different things at same time? or Do your thoughts and feelings always seem to match up to one another?

However is what you think another form of expressing what you feel , What I mean is I think badly about myself and told it doesn’t match up with how I am in reality or others see me . So is what you think not necessarily a true emotion of yourself as a person. Or is it misguided emotions from a clouded sense of what you see and feel from reality that effect what you think and can lead to false sense of thinking/ security of your overall mind.

I know that they are not really in some cases you might think a certain way about a situation but this may not lead to you feeling same way emotionally. Or the other way around you might not give it thought even though you feel emotionally for a situation.

However when it comes to my own mind I can’t seem to get any logic or I try get past, metaphorically out of maze or all sorts of thoughts, feelings viewing every possible aspect to my personal ability. Yet I still end up doing the same but with another concept all over again. I do believe I can change but I just haven’t found the right viewing or understanding to be in better or more ideal way of thinking, feeling and living.

If you find yourself in a maze there must have been a way for you to be in there so logically even how difficult it seems there is a way out. Some may find this fun others won’t

[Open Eyes]

((((MindinPieces)))))

Yes, there are times where I DO feel down or awkward and I am not sure why. For me, it usually is when I am interacting with a person and I don't really have a good feeling about the other person. What I used to struggle with is interacting with people I felt were highly educated. I remember having this problem when I was your age to be honest, now that I think about it. First I did struggle because all the time I was growing up my father bearly let me finish a sentence without interupting me or trying to get me to use bigger words. He also talked to me using bigger words himself as well. It got to be very troubling because he would talk and then express a word he knew I didn't know and then he would stop the conversation and talk all the about the word. When he did that he lost me because I would lose, and he would lose the trend of thought in the original conversation. So, my father, although he was trying to increase my vocabulary, he actually put a lot of doubt in me, in my sense of feeling I could successfully interact. I ended up developing a sort of glitch in the flow of thinking words and then uttering them. It took me a long time to talk without tripping over my words.

I think that you have to continue to gain knowledge and keep remembering that other people have self doubt as well. Often other people who invest time and kindness with you do so because they, themselves have struggled and know what it feels like.

It would be nice if you can get to a place beyond this personal struggle, and you CAN do that. What is nice is that once you CAN do this, you will be able to help others do the same. You would truely be surprized at how many people honestly struggle just like you.

Open Eyes

[Mindinpieces]

Thank you very much for your reply. I am glad you have found better understanding of your past thoughts and feelings. It's good to see and you can see in many posts on here that people move on from what they are looking to change and grow from. Many posts on here can give good insight from anothers prospective. Thank you again and best wishes

[Open Eyes]

Thanks Mindinpieces, however it DID take me time, I didn't really have it at age 19.
It took time to develope a stronger sense of self. To be honest, we actually work on that all our lives.

I actually talked about this with my T today as I know I have some troubled areas in my interactions. We have narrowed this down to my childhood struggles where my parents failed to see my struggle, even made it worse. However often parents do this unknowingly simply because they never knew what to look for.

I think it can be harder if a child has social phobia or even another issue, if a parent doesn't know about it, doesn't make efforts to help the child overcome it, it can present a sense of self anger as the child ages and continues to struggle. Sometimes we can form these deep angers about ourselves that we don't understand, not our fault. It is very helpful to try to find out where this comes from and then the work can begin to help put an end to the sense of not being good enough somehow.

I think you said you were going to start CBT? If that is the case, it would be good if you settled where your sense of self negetivity comes from so you can make peace with it and move forward. That is what I am working on myself. I have been aware of the struggle with it for a very long time, so in that I recognize it in others and reach out. However I never truely filled all of my own struggles, some, but not all.

(((((Hugs)))))

Open Eyes

[crimsonhaze]

I've wanted to post something similar to this as well. There are times when what I'm thinking isn't exactly the same with how I'm feeling. I guess in some cases wherein guilt is involved. For example you do something stupid. You know it's stupid, but you enjoy doing it regardless of how you feel afterwards or during.

[Mindinpieces]

Originally Posted by crimsonhaze

I've wanted to post something similar to this as well. There are times when what I'm thinking isn't exactly the same with how I'm feeling. I guess in some cases wherein guilt is involved. For example you do something stupid. You know it's stupid, but you enjoy doing it regardless of how you feel afterwards or during.

Thank You for your reply. I know sort of what you mean. For me even though I know I must change how I interact and behave towards people, when I was working, unemployed now, I wouldn’t think before acting I would act on impulse and what I thought I felt at that time to be correct which really just was my own mixed feelings taking over. The trouble is I haven't learnt how to stop myself in the moment when face with situations. I can only work them out or regret and see where I have gone wrong either later in the day or some weeks later. I get scared about the thought of having to be around people and working. I will try to think of every situation and how it may go wrong and what I could do If it does or I usually end up tell myself your hopeless and no good and there is no way you would be any good at this. Sometimes this is even before applying to a company, so I don’t bother applying at all. Or as ashamed to admit I said I would take a job but got too scared beforehand and never showed up this was at Christmas. The other thing is this month I work two days in a store big mistake. However the consequence now is I have to put this on my CV and of course who going to want to employ someone as irrational as me.