Dealing with toxic people

Haven't been on in quite a while. Wanted to ask all of you the following:
1. Even if you know someone's behavior (whether a family member or just another individual) is toxic; and
2. Even if you stand up for yourself,
3. How do you get rid of the annoying thoughts in your head that maybe they're right and you're an idiot?
Those unhelpful thoughts are probably from childhood when I had little self-esteem and family was rather controlling.
Remember wondering as a child, "am I crazy?" Was told by two separate counselors that I was NOT and the family behavior was at times ridiculous. That helped. A little.
No matter how much I know logically that it's ridiculous, that their behavior is wrong, I can't seem to eliminate those thoughts completely. Or (getting even more silly) the feeling of guilt I have for standing up for myself. I still will, in an assertive but not rude fashion, but that guilt persists. They may not know it's there but I do. Or are toxic people like dogs, able to smell fear (or rather, guilt?)
Will perhaps if not too embarrassed give more details later but wanted to put this out there and hear some ideas. Thanks so much!

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/15-...e-distortions/
http://psychcentral.com/lib/2009/fix...e-distortions/

This is why sayings like Shakespeare's "To thine own self be true" have become classics. Perhaps you are more "evolved" - emotionally, intellectually, psychologically - than the rest of your family. So the question is, do you live DOWN to their standards and stay unhappy and unfulfilled, or do you rise to your own standards and and wishes and desires, and risk them making fun of you, and losing their approval because you no longer fit in, and they just don't understand you and why you aren't satisfied with the way things are? Why do you have to be different?! Or are you just being yourself - as they are! Nobody is stopping them, right? They are happy in their lives. Why are they trying to stop you? If they are NOT happy, why would they want you to be unhappy also? The old generation only knows what worked for THEIR generation - they do not know what it takes to succeed among your peers, they have not spent every day in school with them, building the current society, absorbing data every minute like little human computers. Your gut is smarter than you realize.

Talisman, There are a lot of toxic folks in this world. And yes if someone knows you well enough, they know how to push your buttons. Not knowing particularly who these
folks are in your life,; the best thing you can do is not to allow those buttons to be pushed. There are things each of us will be wrong on, so don't feel like you've lost a major battle of egos over it. I have taken a stance on not calling attention to something they are all wet on as to their opinion; I don't correct them. Of course if it is your parents involved in this, respect does go both ways...I assuming you are an adult.

I had a Dad that always felt like he had to "Be Right". When I stopped arguing with him, he stopped preaching to me. I refused to allow his ego to be salved at my expense when I was a young adult. However; this does not mean you put down your older generation...but maybe disengage/depersonalize from the toxic attitude of ones barbs If it's a know-it-all friend, don't jump into a battle of egos and pride...no one wins that war except for a brief moment.

There is a saying from Maya Angelou..."No one will remember what you said, but they will remember how they made you feel."

Take Care, hugs, bj