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#1
Mar 12, 2012, 03:47 PM
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he used to be excluded because he was too young. i know how much it hurts to be excluded. so i'd sit with him and keep him company and hang with him. he had some really huge problems, but this was one thing i could help him with.
now it just seems woefully inadequate. the sadness is just pervasive everywhere inside. sliding out like tendrils when i least expect it. and i try to sit with the tendril but it's attached to this huge overwhelming mountain of grief. so i push the sadness away. push him away. excluding him from myself. which feels so wrong. how do i let the sadness come?
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He said that we can email as MUCH as we want (100 times per day). Believe in this - it is challenging fears about being punished. It is okay to be seen. You are not a nuisance. "Too much" simply means exploration, not punishment/withdrawal. Trust in him.  Not looking at him is about keeping aspects of self hidden/secret. We know that is not the healthy choice. Keep working on this - you will get there.  Accept there are parts. Be kind and gentle with them. Working with parts and feelings is the key to happiness. We have been happy before when listened to them and accepted them and were open to feelings. Write in your journal - it is safe to do so. 
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#2
Mar 16, 2012, 12:49 AM
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nevermind. i'll just live in my own little weird world where no one understands and no one cares and i'm invisible. it's better that way anyway.
__________________
He said that we can email as MUCH as we want (100 times per day). Believe in this - it is challenging fears about being punished. It is okay to be seen. You are not a nuisance. "Too much" simply means exploration, not punishment/withdrawal. Trust in him. Not looking at him is about keeping aspects of self hidden/secret. We know that is not the healthy choice. Keep working on this - you will get there. Accept there are parts. Be kind and gentle with them. Working with parts and feelings is the key to happiness. We have been happy before when listened to them and accepted them and were open to feelings. Write in your journal - it is safe to do so.
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#3
Mar 16, 2012, 11:11 AM
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sorry you feel such sadness, dino. hope u feel better soon.
__________________
Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand |
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