[Denwood]

As the song says its getting harder and harder to breathe. I cant believe I'm doing this I just cant hold it back anymore. First off, my brother is going to be spending nine days with a girl I met first and I was starting to like in another country. They're practically ment for eachother, even my own mother thinks so. Speaking of my mother, the best mother in the world but just ignores said brother when he bullies me- even punching me in the back of the head recently and my mother saying "I'm not refereeing this one." He's a selfish, ignorant person and I think I may be the only one on the face of the earth that may be able to see that. I'm also Catholic and have another brother, oldest, and alot nicer then my other brother, thing is, I'm 95% sure he's gay, and he's an athiest. Trust me, you have to know him. I lost a close relative when I was only ten I believe, never got over that. Then theres all those college buddies my oldest, alleged gay brother of mine had made over the four years he was in college. Those guys were the best but I'll never forget this one time, after a few years after my oldest brother graduated, my oldest brother, a close friend "Tee", and myself were to meet in a city. When we met Tee embraced little me, picking me up and hugging me like I was his brother. I couldnt remember the last time one of my own brothers did something like that. Haven't seen him in about two or three years, its like he was never even alive, my oldest brother must be obsessed with his roomate now. I was bullied heavily in the seventh grade. Had my first entire beer when I was thirteen, and I've been looking for drugs for a long time. I am sorry, I just had to let this all out, luckily I'm able to laugh atleast. Can someone try and explain to me whats going on with me? Thank you.

[Leed]

Hi ~ You don't say how old you are. Am I correct in assuming that you're in your late teens? Or am I totally wrong?

I have a feeling that you're very bothered by the fact that your brother may be gay. Is it because you're Catholic? Is it because you find it offensive or both? Please remember that he didn't CHOOSE to be gay --- he was BORN that way. No one would choose that life -- it's a life of hiding, torment, mental anguish, uncertainty, self-loathing for awhile, and that's just a FEW of the emotions they feel! So being gay isn't a choice! And he CANNOT just "turn straight" if he wanted to. It doesn't work that way.

You say you've been looking for drugs for a long time. Why? Are you trying to dull the emotional pain? It won't work. It will always still be there. I'm a recovering alcoholic/addict and doing drugs/alcohol doesn't work. All it does is get you addicted -- and that's a life of torment and hell. All it does is lead you on a path to death. It WILL kill you, and some quicker than others. Whatever emotional problems you have are NOT so serious that you should put your Mother thru THAT KIND OF PAIN.

Please see a therapist. Ask you Mom about it --- tell her you need to see a good therapist about some issues that are really making your life difficult. Make sure she knows it's not just a "teenage angst" thing. You need to talk to someone and the sooner the better. I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[Denwood]

Thank you, thank you so very much and I apologize if I offended you about the drugs thing. You were right I am in my late teens. I will try to seek out help for this, you may have saved me from alot of pain. Thank you, god bless.

[dmight]

Originally Posted by Denwood

As the song says its getting harder and harder to breathe. I cant believe I'm doing this I just cant hold it back anymore. First off, my brother is going to be spending nine days with a girl I met first and I was starting to like in another country. They're practically ment for eachother, even my own mother thinks so. Speaking of my mother, the best mother in the world but just ignores said brother when he bullies me- even punching me in the back of the head recently and my mother saying "I'm not refereeing this one." He's a selfish, ignorant person and I think I may be the only one on the face of the earth that may be able to see that. I'm also Catholic and have another brother, oldest, and alot nicer then my other brother, thing is, I'm 95% sure he's gay, and he's an athiest. Trust me, you have to know him. I lost a close relative when I was only ten I believe, never got over that. Then theres all those college buddies my oldest, alleged gay brother of mine had made over the four years he was in college. Those guys were the best but I'll never forget this one time, after a few years after my oldest brother graduated, my oldest brother, a close friend "Tee", and myself were to meet in a city. When we met Tee embraced little me, picking me up and hugging me like I was his brother. I couldnt remember the last time one of my own brothers did something like that. Haven't seen him in about two or three years, its like he was never even alive, my oldest brother must be obsessed with his roomate now. I was bullied heavily in the seventh grade. Had my first entire beer when I was thirteen, and I've been looking for drugs for a long time. I am sorry, I just had to let this all out, luckily I'm able to laugh atleast. Can someone try and explain to me whats going on with me? Thank you.

I want to say something but don't know what say

[Leed]

Heavens sake, you didn't offend me -- I hope I didn't come across that way and if I did, I apologize!! I just don't want to see ANYONE go thru what i did! It's pure hell and I was too ignorant to realize what I was getting myself into.

I hope you get the help that you need my friend. The mental suffering that you feel is no fun -- I know. So please talk to your Mom, ok? God bless. Hugs, Lee