[Rob1210]

I've been working non stop lately. If not my actual job, 'favours' for family. This week has been unbearable. I'm a builder and have been working my nuts off all week in 30+ heat. I spent all day yesterday putting a new fence up for the in laws. Digging in bone dry earth was fun... today I have to sort our garden out, cut the grass, tidy it up, clear the gutters.
Then tomorrow I'm back at work...
I've not had a wink of sleep overnight because of how warm it is, and I'm just feeling really crap. I'm fed up of trying to please everybody all the time. When do I get a break? When am I allowed to be happy? Fed up of feeling like crap on the inside but having to stay silent for fear of upsetting the apple cart.

[Leed]

It sounds pretty miserable. It's hard to be the 'fix-it" guy for everyone.

Now you have to set some boundaries, and you have the RIGHT. Things do NOT have to be done ALL AT ONCE. You can set down a time schedule to get things done -- or if there are things that you feel you do not WANT to do, then tell them.

Make a list and a time schedule of WHEN you CAN get things done. Do this on YOUR time schedule. Take a couple of things and schedule when you can do them. DON'T schedule things together that take a LONG time to do. If one takes a long time, schedule only ONE thing a weekend. That's IT. Save anything else for another time. If they don't like it, they can HIRE it done!

For the next weekend, schedule something else, but do the same thing -- don't schedule things together that take a long time -- schedule things that only take a few minutes. if something takes a long time, schedule only ONE thing. And you CAN take a weekend OFF, you know.

You are NOT there at their beck & call. Do they PAY you?? Just because they're your inlaws, doesn't mean you shouldn't get something. Afterall, they're taking your weekends away.

You're really miserable, and it's not fair. Your weekends should NOT be spent working your butt off just because someone whines they want something done. If you DON'T want to do it, tell them. They CAN hire it done. You don't HAVE to do this. If it causes problems, OH WELL. You work during the week too -- you're entitled to have weekends off too, like everyone else.

God bless & I hope things can be worked out so everyone is happy. Take care. Hugs, Lee

[Wants2Fly]

What Leed said: Now you have to set some boundaries, and you have the RIGHT.

People may be upset at first, because you have trained them to expect you to say yet. But they will get over it.

[loser123]

Take a break from your work

[eskielover]

Just wondering how you are going to handle Uganda & building the hostel when you aren't doing well in the heat you are experiencing now?

You will definitely be getting a break from your everyday stuff going there, but boundaries & making your own schedule for getting those things done......but I know, in the beginning of summer, that's just the way it is for getting projects done before the heat gets even worse....at least that's the way it is for me on my farm.

[Rob1210]

It wasn't so much the heat, as the build up of everything else too. Four day weekend to chill out, cut down to 3 because I have to ferry her sister around yet again. Hmm...
I know I have to man up a bit and learn to say no. I'm one of those types who tries too hard to please everyone (for fear of not being liked I suppose), but I need to do something before I have a melt down. I'm constantly tired.
This trip is different though because she has to bring all her stuff from uni and can't go on the train with it, but after this, I'm done, for a good while at least.