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Member
Member Since May 2012
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 153
12 31 hugs
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#1
I feel like if I could appreciate all the good things I have, they would most definitely outweigh the bad and the hurt, and I could be a happy person the way I used to be. I dwell so much on the negative things in my life, that I don't even appreciate the good, and I don't take the time to enjoy the things that used to make me happy.
I used to be the kind of person that didn't stay feeling down long. I've always been sensitive and emotional, but there was always so much in life to enjoy that I was never unhappy long. Those same things in life are still around for me to enjoy. I have even MORE good things in life going on now than I used to. So why am I so focused on all the bad? I see and hear of people who have a lot less to be thankful for and happy about than I do, and they seem to hold it together a lot better than I do. I wish I could just be a happy person again. Thats my rant for the day |
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Wants2Fly
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 6,543
14 189 hugs
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#2
HOn ~ When people are depressed for a long period of time, they become sort of "numb" to their emotions. NOthing seems to phase them. Nothing! I lived in that world for a long time. If someone died, I felt numb. I couldn't even cry. I sympathized (sort of) for the family, but I didn't FEEL anything. That made me feel guilty. And it made me feel alien.
Because of that (and many other things) I ended up in the mental ward of a hospital for awhile. And I was glad. I shouldn't have waited so long to check myself in. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. You're depressed -- you need a therapist. YOu need someone to talk to and get to the bottom of what's been "getting to" you for so long. It might be painful at first, but it's worth it. Please get the help you need. If you cannot afford therapy, then at LEAST see your medical doctor. He CAN help you. God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee |
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Member
Member Since May 2012
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 153
12 31 hugs
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#3
Quote:
I honestly do not think I am depressed, or that I am in denial about being depressed. I just do not think its to that extent. I do not feel numb. I feel every emotion still, I do feel happiness and excitement, I feel sad, I feel loss, grief, worry, sympathy and any normal emotion. But I have a recurring anxiety and stress. The past year for me has held a lot of changes, good and bad. Sometimes I think maybe I'm just having a hard time keeping up. I have had many people let me down that were close to me. I feel like its taken a toll on my self confidence and how I feel about myself in general. I think maybe, I'm just in an emotional rut. I have considered myself as suffering depression, but when I read people's thoughts and experiences about their own depression, especially on this site, I do not feel like that is what I'm going through. Thank you again, though, I really do appreciate all of your insight. |
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Elder
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: California
Posts: 6,051
12 865 hugs
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#4
Well, I don't know if you are depressed or not. But, I do know that not all depression looks the same. What you describe above, especially the parts about not appreciating the good things and focusing on the negative, sounds like the depression I have experienced. And some depression, like mine, can be long term and mostly due to a chemical imbalance. Other times there are situational things in our lives that can cause it. If you have had a lot of changes, are experiencing stress and anxiety, that could be causing whatever it is you are going through.
I do hope, whatever it is you are experiencing and whatever you decide to do with it, that you start to feel better soon! Thanks for posting and I hope to keep hearing from you. __________________ dailyhealing "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Helen Keller Strange how people who suffer together have stronger connections than those who are most content. –Bob Dylan “If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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NinaNina
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jul 2004
Location: Southeast Florida
Posts: 3,355
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#5
Nina, your depression sounds much like my chemical imbalance depression. Even on my best days, when I was relatively happy, there was always a dark angel standing at my shoulder saying, "Okay, that's good. But is it so good that if I promise you a pain-free trip to oblivion forever that you would say no?"
So even on the happiest days, there was a cloud, a grayness. I don't know if you are depressed, but it probably is worth checking out. __________________ |
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NinaNina
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Junior Member
Member Since Jun 2012
Posts: 11
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#6
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Member
Member Since May 2012
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 153
12 31 hugs
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#7
I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow afternoon to discuss the possibilty of depression/anxiety.
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dailyhealing
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Elder
Member Since Feb 2012
Location: California
Posts: 6,051
12 865 hugs
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#8
That is great news! I hope you will let us know how it goes. Good luck to you with your appointment.
__________________ dailyhealing "Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Helen Keller Strange how people who suffer together have stronger connections than those who are most content. –Bob Dylan “If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
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Member
Member Since May 2012
Location: Ottawa, Ontario
Posts: 153
12 31 hugs
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#9
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aiv713
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dailyhealing
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Member
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: PA
Posts: 38
12 23 hugs
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#10
hey Nina,
Best of luck to you tomorrow with your doc. I have a lot of the same problems you do and I' m seeing a therapist now in hopes of getting it all worked out. It's great having someone that is on my side all the time and that I can talk to about all the things in my life. |
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NinaNina
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dailyhealing, NinaNina
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