[twofaces]

Another mood flick, and maybe a rant, but I seriously feel so frustrated.

FXXK with that 'secret' thing. Life gets better when you think positive way all the time and cut the emotion? That's when you 'can'. And I 'cant'

Listened to meditation-supposed things and tried them but I always get tired.

Now I think I have an Angina because my hard feels like getting gripped and it feels extremely uncomfortable.

I don't know, I just don't want to live like this. My mood swing is so unpredicatable, and people say I'm so unpredictable... Yes. I can't even control that unpredictable thing myself.

Seriously I am getting older and this is getting worse.

[Mindinpieces]

Originally Posted by twofaces

Another mood flick, and maybe a rant, but I seriously feel so frustrated.

FXXK with that 'secret' thing. Life gets better when you think positive way all the time and cut the emotion? That's when you 'can'. And I 'cant'

Listened to meditation-supposed things and tried them but I always get tired.

Now I think I have an Angina because my hard feels like getting gripped and it feels extremely uncomfortable.

I don't know, I just don't want to live like this. My mood swing is so unpredicatable, and people say I'm so unpredictable... Yes. I can't even control that unpredictable thing myself.

Seriously I am getting older and this is getting worse.

Hi, I can only give you my view going by what you have wrote in this thread. I will say sorry if I get this wrong or if I am not insightful or not of any help.

However to me it seems you have taken the first step but that step is also the pitfall that brings you down. That step is realising how you feel at this present time and the way in which things going on for you are affecting you emotionally, mentally. You have every right to feel so frustrated etc by the frustration, feelings, and emotions within themselves.

This can also really make your body hurt. Cause you to feel at your worse because not only do you feel bad enough with the emotions your experiencing at the moment. It’s like even just feeling and trying to live with those emotions and sensation you get at the moment is the breaking, boiling or hell point alone.

To then know that one way or another the only way to change this is to literally, so it seems, go through hell or self-destruction even if this is therapy. That’s is supportive or healing because that doesn’t matter, when you feel as you do. Even trying work through the good things (therapy). What you feel won’t change that quick, unfortunately. So that slight chance or glimpse or some form of hope or change seems like the impossible or not an option for us.

Sometimes for some people, I think, this query of will I ever be able to or get back to feeling how a person sort of should or how you would if you magically could be how you would like to be as a human is the hardest thing to move on from either way. I think this is the too much pressure point that so many struggle with.

I can’t say and I don’t think anyone really can, if you or I or anyone will make it pass that feeling and notion and questioning. Some people can though go through this and regain or learn how to cope and make the changes needed. Others dwindle from making improvements and then fall back to restart all over again.

However I can understand, sometimes it gets to a point when that’s all you can take and even feeling the negativity and emotions you feel at the moment is enough within itself without then contemplating anything beyond that whether that it is good or bad.

I am sorry I can’t give you a good or helpful reply. I wish I could say how to move pass this notion within itself. I am sorry if I got this wrong or only pointed out how you may or may not be feeling.

But you’re not alone in this; I feel the same in some respects from a different situation personally all the time. For one reason or another I try to live and move pass this in the best way I possibly can. This may not be an ideal way or the most supportive way but it’s the best considering how and what’s going on at the moment, that’s all I can do and offer.

I hope you are taking care and try to seek out some help. Let people in you real life know just how you’re feeling… people sometimes are surprisingly senseless to how others are feeling so unfortunately it relies on us making it clear we need care and support . I hope you can find someone who can offer you the support you need in assisting you to make some better moves, ways pass this for you. I wish you all the best