[Setso]

23 and seen what's in store for my life
Every year jsut gets exponentially worse and I can't take it anymore I have nothing to live for!!

[eskielover]

AT the age of 43, I thought very much the same thing. I had lost my career as a firmware design engineer in the aerospace industry. I had a bad marriage for over 20 years that my career was my escape from & there was no way out of the marriage at that point because all I had was disability & we owned a house that wasn't worth what we paid for, so we couldn't even sell it, & take the money & move on. My future looked more bleak than I had ever imagined it could......so obviously, I felt there was nothing to life for & acted on that more times than I can even remember along with allowing the anorexia to try to win it's war against me.

What I didn't know was what the future really had in store for me. I didn't know the trauma I was going to go through either, but I didn't see the ability to take my inheritance I leave where I was....finally get away from the marriage even though I couldn't get the divorce because of financial issues.....at least I could get out of having to live in the same house & the anger that kept building up inside of me that was destroying me. Moved 2100 miles away to a place where I didn't know anyone & started my life over. I now have real friends who care (never believed that could happen either because all my life it hadn't been that way)....I have a wonderful church & people there who have accepted me as family. I have a wonderful psychologist I never dreamed they could be like & the DBT group has aided to knowing better how to handle stressful & distressing situations. I have grown more between the age of 53 & 59 than I had all my previous years.

We never know what the future holds or how it's going to turn out......giving up before the good things happen would have been such a waste of my life knowing now how happy I can really be & that I am not that depressed person that existed before I truly found my freedom. I think the same is true for everyone, just in their own different ways.....& the same is true for you.....you are young & your future holds more than you can ever imagine at your age....don't give up on it now, even if the next few years don't look good, you can't see beyond the bend to know that good there is to come.

[optimize990h]

Do you need to call your crisis line? Do you have a therapist? ((((Setso))))

[catesfate]

Originally Posted by Setso

23 and seen what's in store for my life
Every year jsut gets exponentially worse and I can't take it anymore I have nothing to live for!!

Can you be more specific? What's 'in store for your life'...

Here to listen...if you want. If I fall asleep, due to not sleeping in over 24 hours...promise me you will go to one of the 'chat rooms' and start a dialogue with someone...anyone!!! There are some really awesome people on this site...I just joined myself.

Ironically, my husband has a spinal cord injury, and while having surgery in CO last month he met a newly injured 54 year old man. He asked him, as most do, 'how he got injured'...and he said it was from a failed suicide attempt from top of a parking garage!

Let's work thru this...cause it could really be worse!!

cate

[Setso]

Kinda funny everyday I type out my story to people online, maybe I should copy and paste lol cuz gets anoying

But I was in airforce and dischareged after a year for breakddown and 23 now and been trying work and college since 2008 and never can do either for more than amonth and I breakdown and I been in therapy and various meds
That's the short version

[Setso]

Last fall was in college and had gf and everything

Gf cheated, I said id kill myself,
Got expelled, commited then jailed
And now I'm with parents rotting away

[catesfate]

Originally Posted by Setso

Last fall was in college and had gf and everything

Gf cheated, I said id kill myself,
Got expelled, commited then jailed
And now I'm with parents rotting away

I totally get the feeling of 'rotting away'! My husband is in a wheelchair and all the sudden I look around, I'm 47, no children, and I'm trapped! Nothing to look forward to really...except him getting older and more disabled...and me emotionally fried, depressed and getting old...gonna be the little old lady at the nursing home that has no visitors on Sunday afternoons!

[Setso]

So what will u do now?
What should I do?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi setso, im sorry to hear you're feeling this way.

Not to invalidate you but i don't think anyone is ever really ready to die - i don't think it matters how old we get we're never going to feel like we've had enough time or truly understand what we've been through. 23 is very young - some would say you're not even old enough to understand how bad life actually gets. We all feel sometimes as though our life is on hold - i would challenge you to try and change this, what would make you feel happier and more fulfilled? can you identify whats really stopping you achieving such goals and put a plan in place to try and overcome these obstacles? humans are problem solvers, we strive on pushing our way through lifes struggles. Think of all the lives you've changed whilst you've been alive - if you weren't here you'd miss out on so many other oppertunities. I hope you find peace and contentment - life is hard but nothing thats worth having comes easy.

[Setso]

Thanks I'm feeling better after joking around on these forums hehe
Sometimes best to pretend to be happy I guess

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[eskielover]

Breakdowns can sometimes take a long while to get over.....when the mind is pushed to that point, it took a while to get there, it's going to take a while to get out of it also.

Take a break for awhile......

But seriously......don't base the worth of your life on some stupid GF who cheats on you.

Sounds like you need to get your value system together before doing anything else with your life.....get your priorities & goals that you want to aim for......not goals of having someone else tied to your life....but your life, your goals, your values & then when you get your self together, then you can add someone else to the picture

[shezbut]

(((Setso)))

You're up against some big challenges, no doubt.

It is hard to care for aging parents; go through our own personal struggles; and feel as though we don't have much more happiness ahead of us. I can relate in many ways.

I'm no spring chicken myself ~ I'm 41 y.o and have been struggling for almost all of my life. But there have been some positive experiences in with my misery as well. I had 2 daughters when I was married, they're now ages 10 and 7. Changing so fast! Just when I think that my girls don't care at all about me, they do something very sweet and thoughtful for me. Those little things keep me going. It is so sweet!

Other positive experiences include enjoying a sunset or sunrise, or a long walk outdoors ~ I LOVE nature!! Recalling other positive experiences helps too, Looking at pictures of me holding up a big fish that I caught, or ticket stubs from my favorite baseball game I ever attended, soft and smooth rocks, relaxing music CD's, etc. They help me through the very dark times.

Personally, chat rooms never help me, because I can't keep up with the speed at which they move. But, some people gain a lot of emotional support through them! I think that it helps to talk about your problems somewhat, just don't focus on them 24/7. Because that only brings us down further. Oh yeah ~ another tip...I also avoid the news 100%! I can't handle the depressing stories out there. It brings me down further every time a story catches my eye or ear & before I know it, I'm significantly worse.

Gentle hugs to you ~ take care!

[SceneDinosaur]

I often want to die too. I actually am a self harmer, its a hard thing to overcome. But when I feel like dying, I remember people are here and they love me, so i put down whatever I was going to use.

Hang in there Setso.
You'll see the rainbow after the rain storm has passed.
Hope you have more good days than bad. They come and go.

Also, thank you for your service. Salute!

[nicoleflynn]

Finding a therapist would be a good beginning. We all have choices in life; when terrible things happen to us, we can either quit or keep going. Don't pretend to be happy; there is no value in that.....find things that MAKE you happy. Living is scary, because we don't know what is going to happen next, but if we kill ourselves/quit....we will never know.

Originally Posted by Setso

23 and seen what's in store for my life
Every year jsut gets exponentially worse and I can't take it anymore I have nothing to live for!!

you're not alone in this.

was just emailing someone this morning about wanting to end my life.

hugs