[Sethsmummy]

I am angry still about a relationship that broke down years ago.
We were engaged and serious about a future together.
I am angry because of the nature of the relationship being abusive, he took advantage of me sexually and I lost our baby by miscarriage.
I am super angry.
How do i forgive him for destroying my soul, my trust my zest for life my yearning for a child
how do i forgive him and get over my anger?
I am lost.

[Leed]

How long ago was this? Did you lose the baby due to being hit/abused?

Obviously, this was a very toxic and violent relationship that should have been ended before it was. But that's a moot point. It's tragic that you lost the baby, but the here and now is what were dealing with.

Sometimes anger is healthy. It's healthy when it spurs us to action -- but what action can you take NOW.?? I don't think there is any that can be taken, If this was years ago, it's too late.

Now you have to deal with YOUR feelings of anger -- what is the anger doing FOR you? Has it been beneficial? I doubt it. It has just kept the horror alive all this time. These memories need to be put to rest. It serves you no purpose in bringing these memories to mind at ANY time -- that only serves to anger you once again, making you miserable.

I would suggest you get a referral to a good therapist. Ask your doctor to refer you to one that he trusts. Therapy will be good for you in learning how to deal and cope with these terrible memories. You won't regret going into therapy, I promise. Please call your doctor for a referral. And please keep posting -- it will help. God bless you and please take care. WE care. Hugs, Lee

[beauflow]

i know this may not be so much helpful -- but forgiving yourself maybe a little of this....

Take what you can from learning from this all..

Forgiveness does not always mean saying "it was ok", forgiveness is sometimes saying "ya know that person had issues too, and they were unable to cope in a good way"

hopefully some peace can come for you with in

[whatbeanbelieved]

I don't know how to forgive, but I read somewhere that forgiveness is to let go of the hope that the past could have been anything but what it was. So maybe the first step is to just accept that this DID happen and it COULDN'T have been different?

[Sethsmummy]

Thanks for your replies it helps that people understand.