[gypsyprincess]

My problems are nothing compared to a lot of people on this website, but what I am feeling right now is intolerable. I want to rip my skin, collapse on the floor, and scream at the top of my lungs and cry and cry and cry. But my mother is staying with me at the moment. I don't let her see me cry. I have to be strong in front of my mother. I take care of her. I know I'm pmsing so I'm sure that's partially why I feel so intensely screwed up. But my heart is pounding. It wont stop. It just rapidly beats in my chest and I can feel it in my ears and it wont stop. I can hardly breathe. I need to scream... but I can't, so instead I'm writing this post. I hope at least expressing these feelings will help me somehow. I don't know how else to cope.

[NinaNina]

I'm very sorry that you are feeling this way- I can relate as I have felt this way before many times.

Can you say what it is thats making you feel like this?

[gypsyprincess]

Originally Posted by NinaNina

I'm very sorry that you are feeling this way- I can relate as I have felt this way before many times.

Can you say what it is thats making you feel like this?

Thank you, Nina...
I feel trapped in a box. I'm overwhelmed with post-graduate work. It's too much and I feel like I'm going to fail. I'm in a long distance relationship that isn't really an official relationship and not being able to see him is killing me and on top of that, I think he's bipolar and hasn't told me yet. He went from being really caring and attentive to almost non-existent in a matter of days. My mother is smothering me simply with her presence. I miss having my own space and being alone. I have no one to talk to really because I'm so far from home and school has me too busy to maintain friendship. I haven't had a best girlfriend in years. My best friend is a guy and there's only so much I can talk to him about, especially because he's in love with me. I haven't been sleeping well. My dreams are filled with nightmares about being beaten and scratched up and humiliated. I spent last night actively kicking in my sleep. I was supposed to quit smoking but now I just don't even want to stop. The thought of wanting to die keeps coming to my mind and it bothers me that it does. And now, even as I write this, I feel guilty for feeling bad about any of this. It's all in my head and nothing to worry about. But I can't breathe.

[NinaNina]

Originally Posted by gypsyprincess

Thank you, Nina...
I feel trapped in a box. I'm overwhelmed with post-graduate work. It's too much and I feel like I'm going to fail. I'm in a long distance relationship that isn't really an official relationship and not being able to see him is killing me and on top of that, I think he's bipolar and hasn't told me yet. He went from being really caring and attentive to almost non-existent in a matter of days. My mother is smothering me simply with her presence. I miss having my own space and being alone. I have no one to talk to really because I'm so far from home and school has me too busy to maintain friendship. I haven't had a best girlfriend in years. My best friend is a guy and there's only so much I can talk to him about, especially because he's in love with me. I haven't been sleeping well. My dreams are filled with nightmares about being beaten and scratched up and humiliated. I spent last night actively kicking in my sleep. I was supposed to quit smoking but now I just don't even want to stop. The thought of wanting to die keeps coming to my mind and it bothers me that it does. And now, even as I write this, I feel guilty for feeling bad about any of this. It's all in my head and nothing to worry about. But I can't breathe.

I'm sorry that your dealing with all of this. Never feel guilty for feeling bad about any of this! is your workload too much or is hard to focus on it becaue your stressed out? Whatever you do, try and relax. Maybe take a walk or a break from everything for a bit and just relax. I know when I get really stressed, I cant focus on anything, and end up feeling exactly the way you do.

Can you try and talk to your long distance partner to see if theres something troubling him? I'm sorry that you feel as if you have no one to talk to. I'm in the exact same boat right now...the only person I feel like I have to talk to is my boyfriend, but hes just not easy to talk to, I cant talk to him about everything thats troubling, and its just not the same as having a best girlfriend. I miss having a best girlfriend to confide in, so I know exactly how you feel there. You can always talk to me Feel free to private message me, I'm a good listener.

Do you know whats causing your nightmares?