[iffylivy]

I've been thinking since, i just recently joined and from the responses from some people, that i think i downplay my emotions (i think thats the right word). Its like i deal with all my friends other emotional breakdowns and crisis and off the wall tendencies (not saying its a bother) but i never really cope with my own feelings, push it all aside and just say "I'm ok, or there's no need to feel this way". Sometimes i dont know why the feeling pops up, when nothing happened or nobody bothered me to be feeling this way. Going back to my friends problems, i dont want to one day flip out on them just because they need someone to listen to them. But each time i hear it, i get angry or just want to not cars. I dont want to lash out at them or make them feel like i dont care.

[avlady]

sounds a little bipolar-i'm no doctor but have had some bipolar friends and relatives just b yourself here-we all know about it and there is no reason to downplay your words, we all understand, at least i do, and so do the others

[jadzea]

I feel the same way. I used to try to talk to my friends about my needs. I found they only wanted to talk about themselves and were not willing to help me so I stopped talking. I keep listening to them and try to help them though because I know how desperately people need to talk sometimes.

I have one friend who starts dumping on me the second I pick up the phone. Sometimes I want to scream at her and tell her I can't handle her problems at the minute. I have enough of my own. She doesn't care where my head is at. She only cares about lightening her burden.

I have no solution but I can relate and give you some sympathy.

[yellowted]

Originally Posted by jadzea

I feel the same way. I used to try to talk to my friends about my needs. I found they only wanted to talk about themselves and were not willing to help me so I stopped talking. I keep listening to them and try to help them though because I know how desperately people need to talk sometimes.

I have one friend who starts dumping on me the second I pick up the phone. Sometimes I want to scream at her and tell her I can't handle her problems at the minute. I have enough of my own. She doesn't care where my head is at. She only cares about lightening her burden.

I have no solution but I can relate and give you some sympathy.

I have had many 'friends' like these, and still have some, one in particular used to moan to me that she hadn't seen anyone for two days and oh how awful it was, she would always tell me how her mum who lived in the same road as me was doing and what day her grandaughter did her mums shopping etc when i had been housebound for months and had not even had food shopping for six weeks let alone had a visitor!

these people i have come to believe are and never will be interested in my needs or feelings. they are what i call 'takers', they take your time, your attention and your goodness, but give nothing in return. OK I do not expect much, but i do believe in give and take, you have to be prepared to take my burdens if you want to give me yours! though most people i have come in contact with other than on this site are only interested in giving out their burdens. any one who is happyto help/listen when i need to unload I class as friends rather than aquaintences or takers.
I have the perfect way of ridding yourself of takers, try unloading your burdens on them, they soon withdraw and leave you alone!

[iffylivy]

Originally Posted by jadzea

I feel the same way. I used to try to talk to my friends about my needs. I found they only wanted to talk about themselves and were not willing to help me so I stopped talking. I keep listening to them and try to help them though because I know how desperately people need to talk sometimes.

I have one friend who starts dumping on me the second I pick up the phone. Sometimes I want to scream at her and tell her I can't handle her problems at the minute. I have enough of my own. She doesn't care where my head is at. She only cares about lightening her burden.

I have no solution but I can relate and give you some sympathy.

i know, its the same thing with my friend too, its always her needs first, like no one matters and its the same situation over and over. You start talking about your problems then somehow it goes into her situation and yours is never resolved. And like she has to announce it to the whole group as if we dont know or she is more important or above the rest. its maddening sometime. ( whoops i vented lol)