[indigo1015]

So, as anyone who's been following my adventures may remember, I moved into my uncle's house as a guest. Unfortunately, that is not going so well, and I have decided to move into an extended stay hotel until I can find a place of my own. I start my job on the 20th, so I will be getting some income soon enough. The problems I am having with my uncle are very complicated and family-oriented, but to make a long story short, I am unhappy living here because of my uncle's attitudes towards me and my family. Our family has essentially been in a Cold War-like relationship for the last 40 years. How it started is a long story. However, I had hoped that, by moving in with him for a little bit, I would be able to dispel some of the "myths" about my side of the family, and get to know my uncle in the bargain. That is not happening - my uncle is determined to hang on to ridiculous ideas about me and my family, despite the fact that he has been to our house, and has SEEN how we live, and furthermore, what he has seen has contradicted these ideas in every sense. Sadly though, if someone wants to believe something about someone, chances are, they will, regardless of whether it is true or how hard one may try to show him a different story. I have learned this the hard way.

Back to my reasons for moving - I can't honestly say I've been badly treated, and he is very generous to let me stay here. However, he barely talks to me, he has NEVER seemed happy to have me there, and he never acknowledges the cool things my family has done. I always have to be impressed with his family, otherwise, I look like a snob. He also keeps trying to advise me on how to live my life. And he has no idea whatsoever of my current situation, the challenges I have faced, or what my current situation requires. I try to talk to him and converse in a friendly manner, and he never participates for very long - he talks to me long enough to tell me what I should be doing or what I'm doing wrong. I feel very sad that I won't be here to see my cousins, who are flying in to stay with him for Spring break, because I really like them and want to get to know them better. But I am very tired of always extending my hand to have someone spit in it, metaphorically speaking. We have always tried to be hospitable and friendly to my uncle, and he has never reciprocated, has never even shown gratitude or recognition. I am not saying we are superior - NO ONE is superior to ANYONE in this world. However, I think my uncle has a lot of issues that he has never gotten over. I cannot help him with this, he needs to help himself, and he won't. But it will not be my problem anymore by tomorrow evening. I honestly tried.

[IowaFarmGal]

Good Luck with the new job! Sorry that things didn't work out with your uncle. I hope everything goes alright finding a place of your own.

[Thunder Bow]

Lower your expectations about you uncle. He is unable to give you the companionship you hope for. As you move on, keep those kind of hopes in check, and play it by ear. Your good at sensing how open one is to sharing and being present with you.

[avlady]

That is a good suggestion to lower your expectations of him.I've learned from my mother not to bring up the pst because it's too painful as she admitted to me the other day while conversing, I've finally accepted i can't go there with her and I respect her opinion, even though i have a lot of things i would like to know bout. she's 75 and had open heart surgery and i'd hate to be the one who drove her over the edge to another one. i learned sometimes we can't always have things be as we wish, but to live in the now and accept things where they are now and work on that first. some things that happened in our family are just too painful for some of us to talk about, but maybe someday, even if i accepted no one wants to deal with it right now, there may be a window through someone else's mind that will someday open up the answers i need.