Why does everyones life seem better than mine?

Why is it that I always feel the need to compare myself, my career, my education, my LIFE with that of others?

Why do I always get depressed when I see things on face book about people bragging about buying their new house, getting their new car, having such a wonderful day at their fantastic job, buying the nicest clothes, always going on vacation, always going to parties and weddings and get-together's with friends and family over the weekend, always posting pictures of them having such a grand old time.......

Why can't I feel happy for them and not depressed about what they have that I don't? Why do I feel like I am not as good as some other people? What makes their lives so much better than mine that I can't just be happy in my own skin?

I feel as though I have worked hard to get where I am in life and I am continuing to work hard to get towards my goals in life, but I am not there yet and I have quite a ways to go. Some other people seem to already have accomplished so much AND THEN some. I actually go out and try to buy the same clothes as certain family/friends that I have that I think look nice and try to style my hair the same way, do my makeup the same way- It's almost as if I am trying to be like them because their life seems so much greater than my own and when I step back and admit it, it just gets me so depressed. I feel as though I am not living my life to the fullest because all I do is compare my life to others and view my own as dull.

Anyone have any suggestions? I deleted my face book account because I am sick of seeing how "perfect" their lives are.

Thanks in advance.

You know, people use fb to tell a story and it's often not real or not even half the story. I know it's hard not to compare but when you feel like this it can help to focus on your own life and whether there's something you want to change.

Hi there

Good on you for deleting your FB account. I have done the same for that reason.

It can be hard not to compare ourselves to others, but we don't know what goes on behind closed doors. I was beating myself up for not having a relationship and then I hear a lot about people who are married or in relationships and unhappy, so now I feel lucky to have my own freedom.

It can be hard to focus on the positives, but I have written a list of my good qualities and try to focus on them. Maybe stick them up on your mirror so that you see them every day to remind yourself that you are good enough just as you are.

Take care

Facebook is the highlight reel of people's lives and you're comparing this to your everday existence, minute by minute, which is why you can't compare.

I would suggest not comparing at all, or if you are giong to compare, compare against a larger group of people rather than just one person because that is more likely to be a realistic sample of what you should expect of yourself.

One of my friends ended our friendship in a jealous fit because I was getting married and she wasn't, so she thought I had a better life. I don't.

You never really know.

Hello, Stranger.

Hi ~ Alot if not most of the stuff you read on facebook isn't real. It's made up junk that people WISH was true, but it's not. It's all a popularity contest, just like in high school, and it's ridiculous. From what I have seen, no one has grown up yet. And I doubt they EVER will.

Don't EVER compare your life to others. Chances are you are doing better than they are!!! They're living in a world in their miinds. YOU are in reality. So pat yourself on the back for having worked so hard for what you have!

God bless you and please take care. I applaud you for being such a hard worker. Take care. Hugs, Lee

I have never been involved with Facebook and from all the negetives I have heard about it, I don't have any desire to get involved with it. I know of people who use it and they do not put out the difficult or bad things that happen to them, they only put up the positives so you are not getting the entire picture of people's lives.

It is normal "human behavior" to compare ourselves with others to a degree. But it is important that you don't do it to a point where you "lose yourself" or your sense of your own value, it just isn't healthy. We all are unique anyway, we all will have our own unique lives that no one else experiences. There is going to be ups and downs for everyone in life too. Do your best to learn and grow and be yourself and know you are unique. What may seem to make others "happy" may not make "you" happy so don't stress and think "you need to be what they are".

I would suggest you put that Facebook on ignore and do things for yourself, take courses, try things, learn and grow into yourself, be free of what others do and just be "you".

i think that was an overkill. I keep a Facebook account because it makes me findable on the web, but I do not read any updates from anybody and do not look at pictures etc. - I do not have time for that. This way I cannot be upset either.

I don't get the findable thing. If I didn't stay in touch there was a reason.

FB has grown out of proportion and is now a tool for all kinds of stuff. That alone is reason to ignore it.

My first girlfriend whom I met at age 4 found me via FB. I have not stayed in touch with her since 2008 because her phone number was in my old Palm Pilot in the age before the Cloud. Obviously, now I do not keep anything other than in the Cloud ever, but back in those days... and I do not have the charger for the Palm Pilot anymore - I have long been on various Android phones. So that is how I lost touch with her. I was very happy to receive an invite from her and will see her in May - happy end.

I agree, I don't need to keep a facebook to be "findable."

Dear Stranger,

I, too, find myself hurt when I compare myself to others. I have had many, many years being single, and couples seem to be everywhere, flaunting, or seeming to flaunt, their couple-ness, leaving me feeling lonely and left out. Also, I have a horrid job history...fired from eighty jobs...due to discrimiation of my mental illness. I KNEW it was discrimation- I kept going and did not give up- I have been successfully working with children for 6 years now, a job where I can be myself and play with the children, I'm a kid at heart!! Soooo glad I never gave up on myself...everyone told me just to give up and go on disability, yet my heart told me I was a good worker, it was the human resources people that were judgemental and discrimiating against me..especially getting into job number sixty one, sixty two, etc etc I never lost sight that I was not only a good worker, but a good person...

As far as facebook, I, too deleted people from high school who were not on similiar 'life paths' as I had found myself to be on...instead, my mental illness support group began a closed facebook group where we really post how we truly feel- all our struggles, encouraging each other all along the way!!! Now when I go on facebook, I see deep, inspiring posts from the depths of our hearts

I can give you a link to find a support group near you if you'd like..

But please refrain from comparing yourself to others...I can tell you are a beautiful person that MATTERS, i.e. self worth, something I had to learn and feel....and it's a daily process, for me, therapy helps me, as does journaling and going to my support group, helping others, any way I can...

I'd like to leave you with this quote I found:

Be confident. Too many days are wasted comparing ourselves to others and wishing to be something we aren't. Everybody has their own strengths and weaknesses, and it is only when you accept everything you are- and aren't- that you will truly succeed.

PM me anytime, Stranger!!

Sincerely,

Junerain

I think most people use facebook to highlight the best parts of their lives- because most people want to share good news and flattering pictures. It's not an honest representation of their whole lives. If it were, everybody would seem really depressing and boring
Example:
I'm always tempted to defriend an old high school friend- she got an amazing job right after graduating from an Ivy league school with a 3 Bachelors degrees, lives in Hollywood, and spends a lot of time yachting, traveling to places like Miami and Paris, and drinking martinis.
She has a lot of things in her life that I don't. And it makes me hate her.
But, I'm sure she has days where she's hungover and her boyfriend won't answer the phone and she's broke and her boss is pissed that she's late so she feels terrible. And I'm sure she has some deep dark secrets that don't make it onto the internet. Because everybody does.

It's really tough for me to remember that, but it's true.
Personally, my facebook is hardly an honest representation of myself.

What do you use to be findable for old contacts? LinkedIn?

Read the Wikipedia article on self-selection bias in statistics and it will answer all your questions on this subject:

Self-selection bias - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Keep in mind the self-selection bias on this site, too - in the opposite direction.

i want to post to this thread, because i can relate to this:

in my family, it does seem that everyone has somewhere to go, and something to do.

my sister works monday to friday at a shop, my brother has his computer firm, my relatives are builders or waiters at pubs, or what ever.. and it makes me mad that as for me, well- most mornings i can't even get out of bed... and that's even before thinking about what i might like to do and what i'm good at

when i was at school, it annoyed me because during break times or what ever, people would be talking about their plans.. when i leave school i'm gonna be a drama teacher, i'm going to be a lawyer.... etc. they'd ask me and i'd be like, well.. hopefully dead- and that's the sad truth of it all

((((((((hugs)))))