[Kendyll]

Maybe this should go into Grief, but this has more traffic...
I'm having a rough day. I'm really sad and anxious and cranky and sad. Kinda depressed. My dad died about a month and a half ago and I've just been surfing the emotional waves as they come along. The feelings aren't even usually about HIM. They're just feelings and some days they just wash over me hard. I know that it's normal and I know that the feelings don't always have to be attached to anything - sometimes they just ARE.

Today I don't want to do anything more than curl up in a blanket on the couch and sleep and maybe cry. Everything is fine. Nothing's wrong. Things are OK at work and OK with my program and OK with my husband. I'm not thinking much about my Dad. I'm just sad and tired and annoyed that I have to go out in the world when I feel so crappy.

Does anyone else ever have days where nothing's wrong but you still feel really bad? I just want to go home.

[catsrhelm]

Yes I have days where nothing is wrong but I still get depressed. So you are not alone.

[Kendyll]

How do you deal with those days where you're so sad you want to cry, then so angry you want to throw things and then so anxious you want to just curl up in a ball and in the end you just want to cry and scream but it won't do any good so in the end you do nothing?

[Thunder Bow]

You are still in bereavement around your Father. It will take several months to process through it all. What kind of connections did you have with him? Thinking of them will help you through this process. Don't be afraid to cry.

[Kendyll]

My Dad was a great guy and he was my inspiration for God as I understand Him today. My Dad was a very friendly guy with a great sense of humor. He was an awesome Dad who always encouraged me in just about anything I ever wanted to try.

I think I just miss him so much because I'd already been missing him for a couple of years. He had dementia and was in a nursing home. Some days he was right there and some days he was gone away somewhere. I didn't visit as often as I could because it was really hard to go see him and he not be there. But sometimes we had good visits. I missed him a lot. I missed him a lot, but i could go see him and sometimes he'd be there. Now I can't even go see him, and he's not ever going to be there again.

I'm sure he's gone ahead to a better place. I have no doubts about that. And I guess I'm a little glad he's gone ahead out of the body and deteriorating mind he was trapped in. I just miss him. I listen to some of his favorite music and I cry and I feel better. But then I still miss him.

And then some days I just get tired of the every-day grind. I just get so tired and it feels like it's never going to end and I can never get enough rest. But even if I get some rest, I'm still tired. I might just be depressed for a while.

[avlady]

You're father sounds like he was a great guy!! I'll pray for him, his soul, and for you too. It's the ones left behind like you that death affects. Could you go to a grief group anywhere near you? I know when my sister died, I was already in a group for other things but gettting it off my chest through having others listen and care for me, helped alot. You need to work through the depression.It comes and goes, I would find myself crying in restaurants, trying to hide it too. It's an awful feeling but you can get through it.You are blessed to have had a very good father!!!