battling thru my messed up mind

I cant seem to keep my **** together anymore. I have my spouce pissed off at me for in my mind trying to resolve my past issues that are currently affecting our relationship.

I dont like the fact that she goes and snoops around me to see what I am been up to. I dont feel that is right to go meddling into you spouces private stuff. I respect my spouce and have respected her privacy in not reading her journals and some other private stuff from her past because she asked me not to.She might actually be reading this post now and I cant say that I dont feel that is the way to help a person that you love to go about and dig **** up so they can use it against you later.

I guess those rules dont obey by her because if I leave anything open around her or dont log off my blogs she goes and starts to read my personal stuff that I pour out to my online support groups.Its very damaging to our relationship because we dont get along like we used to and I seems like I cant trust her anymore with any of my personal feelings.

I feel like I cant tell her whats on my mind because she cant take the stuff and roll with it. It hurts her very much that she thinks I hate her in her mind.I love my wife and my son,but I have some problems that I need to face alone so I can get my life back together.

I feel that she wants to support me thru my issues or she doesnt know how to.I went outside the box and trying to figure out my issues in my head and it burned her too much.I thought I was protecting her from my problems by trying to figure them out without her, but It ended up making her sad and very angry about our relationship more.

I been trying to make things better, but they keep on getting worse and worse in our relationship. I just wish things would get better instead on worse.

I respect and love my wife with all of my heart and I love my bb boy as well.I am very saddened by the results that I have recently made in my life and they are making more depressed than before Its driving me to be self destructive alot because I dont see mo end or some clarity out of all of this crap I have created in my life.

I just want to go one a be happy again with my family

Have you told her that YOU expect the same respect that you show HER? That you expect her to STAY OUT of your personal postings/writings, and you will stay out of HERS? Have you told her that? If you haven't, it's time you did.

I expect common respect. I expect nothing more, but I'll ACCEPT nothing LESS! Maybe this is something you should say to your wife. This is always how I've felt -- well at least since I divorced my mentally/emotionally abusive husband. LOL

She's abusing your "space." Everyone is entitled to some personal "space" and she is too. You've recognized that and haven't invaded hers. Now SHE has to recognized that and stop invading your space.

I advise that you two go to marital counseling. You might not need to go very long, but you still should go. Issues like these just tend to go to seed and start to "grow" other issues and pretty soon the whole marriage is screwed. So look into counseling, and make an appointment. You WON'T regret it.

I wish you the very best! Keep us posted, and God bless. Hugs, Lee

You are not personally responsable for every thing that goes wrong, so take an easy on yourself. Seek counseling to uncover deeper issues involved here.