[julie234332]

Hi everyone. I just started my summer job a few weeks ago. I work with 5 girls behind a big desk all day. My first day of work, I noticed these girls seemed close and friendly, considering they have been working with one another for a while. They all greeted me politely and introduced themselves, instead of one girl. She is two years older than me and we have never met before or have even heard of each other. She barely introduced or herself or said "Hi", even though I was trying to make an effort to become friendly. I was asking her simple questions to get to know her and she would answer with one word and not ask me anything about myself. It was not busy so I know she was not stressed. She was also being friendly and nice towards our coworkers and the customers. I know she is not shy around me because once in a while, she becomes snappy towards me if I make mistakes which are completely normal for a new employee. She has been acting like this since the day she met me. I do not think she is threatened by me because I am only working here for the summer. She works here full-time. I am a college student. She already graduated college two years ago.

I am guessing that maybe she dislikes me because I am considered to be attractive and thin and she is average, looks wise. The other girls who work here are also average or below average in the looks department. But maybe those other girls are not the jealous type.

I cannot think of any legitimate reason of why she dislikes me. I now feel awkward asking her work related questions. What can I do to fix this? Thanks.

[Moodswing]

What makes you think you are prettier than they are?

[julie234332]

they are overweight, have bad skin, etc. I don't want to bash their looks. I just want to know why this particular girl may dislike me.

[~Christina]

I find it bothersome that you talk about other women and how they look ...

I think the most obvious thing to do is ...... Ask her politely if there has been a misunderstanding of some sort.

Hmm ...

Can't for the life of me imagine why ...

[healingme4me]

Maybe she just doesn't want to open up to someone who is there temporarily?

In my work years, looks isn't usually what a cold shoulder is about? Maybe she doesn't feel workwise, a temp will pull their weight? Maybe, she's seen temps before and had a poor experience? Maybe she doesn't want to talk? There's a whole plethora of maybe's, and perhaps it's nothing personal?

I responded to your same post in another section, but I will try to offer support here, as well.

I have to agree with the other members ' sentiments here.

Best wishes to you for your summer job.

Originally Posted by julie234332

they are overweight, have bad skin, etc. I don't want to bash their looks. I just want to know why this particular girl may dislike me.

[yellowfrog268]

Hi Julie,

Considering the two of you didn't know one another prior to you getting this job, it can't possibly be anything personal just yet. Although you've received some feedback that suggests your initial thoughts on the situation are problematic, I will say that it isn't impossible. Petty jealousy does happen but I wouldn't jump to that conclusion. Is this woman in a position of authority over you? If not, I wouldn't stress too much over it. Maybe you could have your job related questions answered by one of the other girls you work with and leave this other one alone. You've made attempts to befriend her and she is rejecting your efforts for reasons that only she knows for sure. I say, do your job and leave her be. If her snappiness reaches a level that's unprofessional then I would talk to a supervisor but not mention your thoughts on why she might not like you. It would just make you sound like your whining and being *****y.

Good luck

[myjade_84]

Many of you reading this are probably already feeling an aversion to the topic—none of us likes to admit that other people are better looking than we are or, even worse, that we resent them for it. In fact, many of us don’t admit it, not even to ourselves. Instead, we channel the jealousy into resentment and let it lurk inside of us until the object of it does something that we can interpret maliciously—and then we hate them for that reason.

[gnat]

I experienced the same thing from a girl I work with when i first started, so did the next girl who started, and the next.. I think some people are just like that. They are hesitant to accept new people. After about about a year working there she is usually friendly toward me, but often gives me judgmental looks or whispers to her closest friend who works there and they giggle.

I've heard several coworkers say the same thing about her. She has her little click (people she's worked with for years) and doesn't want to let anyone else in. Several people have changed the time they eat lunch or eat it at their desks to avoid her accusing stares. Myself, I'm encouraging them to eat when and where they want. If she is uncomfortable with it, she can leave.

I try not to take it personally when she does this, although it is hard at times. It is not about me, it's about her. After getting to know her a little better, I have discovered she is in an abusive relationship, hates her job (even more than normal people do), yet lacks the motivation to do anything about it. It's a very common theme I've seen throughout my life. Miserable people tend to treat others in a miserable way.

I know it's hard, as I said it still bothers me from time to time even though she is warming up to me, but try not to take it personally. It sounds like her issue, not yours.

I have to disagree. Sorry but I think it is all in the head and attitude. It has nothing to do with appearance imo when the person readily calls out a "dont hate me because I am beautiful". THAT is ugly.

Originally Posted by myjade_84

Many of you reading this are probably already feeling an aversion to the topic—none of us likes to admit that other people are better looking than we are or, even worse, that we resent them for it. In fact, many of us don’t admit it, not even to ourselves. Instead, we channel the jealousy into resentment and let it lurk inside of us until the object of it does something that we can interpret maliciously—and then we hate them for that reason.

[Otter63]

Just my own experience:
I don't like my body and when I see a woman with a thin body I often feel envious. HOWEVER, I would NEVER treat someone differently because they were attractive. It just doesn't make sense unless they were snotty to me. Perhaps this woman is able to intuit the feelings you have have about her being ugly and fat.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by julie234332

Hi everyone. I just started my summer job a few weeks ago. I work with 5 girls behind a big desk all day. My first day of work, I noticed these girls seemed close and friendly, considering they have been working with one another for a while. They all greeted me politely and introduced themselves, instead of one girl. She is two years older than me and we have never met before or have even heard of each other. She barely introduced or herself or said "Hi", even though I was trying to make an effort to become friendly. I was asking her simple questions to get to know her and she would answer with one word and not ask me anything about myself. It was not busy so I know she was not stressed. She was also being friendly and nice towards our coworkers and the customers. I know she is not shy around me because once in a while, she becomes snappy towards me if I make mistakes which are completely normal for a new employee. She has been acting like this since the day she met me. I do not think she is threatened by me because I am only working here for the summer. She works here full-time. I am a college student. She already graduated college two years ago.

I am guessing that maybe she dislikes me because I am considered to be attractive and thin and she is average, looks wise. The other girls who work here are also average or below average in the looks department. But maybe those other girls are not the jealous type.

I cannot think of any legitimate reason of why she dislikes me. I now feel awkward asking her work related questions. What can I do to fix this? Thanks.

seriously? after reading your post, i can't see why you dont understand why this woman dislikes you; women can tell when another woman "knows" (or thinks) she is more attractive than the other women around them. I am not very attractive, but I have no problem with having female friends that are: what I DO have a problem with is women who have that "Dont hate me because I'm beautiful" mentality; and I can usually smell someone like that a mile away.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by myjade_84

Many of you reading this are probably already feeling an aversion to the topic—none of us likes to admit that other people are better looking than we are or, even worse, that we resent them for it. In fact, many of us don’t admit it, not even to ourselves. Instead, we channel the jealousy into resentment and let it lurk inside of us until the object of it does something that we can interpret maliciously—and then we hate them for that reason.

what book did you read that from?