He needs meds, I believe. He can not contain or control his emotions. His hateful words hurt me.

[kaliope]

the first step is to get him in to see a therapist. then you have to remember that this is about him, not about you. you cannot personalize his anger. when he says those hurtful things, remember they are about his anger issue, not about you. you cant allow yourself to be hurt by what he says. i know it is hard, but it really isnt about you. he is lashing out and you just happen to be the target.

I try to convince myself of this. I succede for short periods of time, it seems, only to become affected by his hateful words again. I cared for him when he was young; washed his clothes, made his meals, paid for meals out and kept him safe and in school and healthy. His thanks is hurtful words while I'm in bereavement from the loss of my wife. I know he just lost his mom and he has Aspergers syndrome and is 18 years old, but this seems so over the top as to be unreal.

[Big Mama]

Brook people with aspurgers often speak with out thinking. They do not have the ability to think of others. Hormones at his age make aspurgers worse at times. He has his own pain and loss. Grief often comes out in anger especially if one does not know how to deal with grief. I am so sorry your son is aiming his frustrations towards you. Most likely it has nothing to do with you. It is just frustration and anger displaced. I have an aspie in my house hold who does the same thing. He calls me names. Names he has heard his dad call me. He doesn't know that it is wrong to call people such serious bad names. He is of no help and cannot understand why the world treats him as they do. But he can be very rude at times, and not even know it.

I understand that his words and maybe even actions hurt you. Of course they do. At one time you have T's helping you threw things, talk to them about how his words hurt you. Read all you can about aspeis. You are a smart and intelligent man and you deserve so much. Hope fully your sons feelings will settle down and he will stop using you as a verbal punching bag.

[gma45]

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. But I believe you are both still grieving and everyone has different ways with dealing with such a terrible loss. I think it is going to take the both of you lots more time and maybe grief counseling would help. Be strong for the both of you, I believe that is what she would have wanted. Take care my friend.