[bos314489]

Right now I am perhaps feeling sorry for myself but at least I can be open and honest here. I am 41, have no children, brothers or sisters, divorced, my only family is my mother and father who are a huge support for me. I am struggling with trying to find my purpose in life. I want to make a contribution to the world or help people in some way. I want my existence in this world to be for some purpose. I want someone to be better off in life from knowing me. I really want to give of myself somehow but I just don't know how to do it. I do small things like bring my friend flowers, bake cookies for someone, random acts of kindness, etc. but I am looking for something bigger than that. Surely I am not here just to be alone and feel as if I am existing in life and not contributing anything. Because that is how I feel. Any thoughts? Thanks for reading. Hope it makes sense.

[Dionysius]

Originally Posted by bos314489

Right now I am perhaps feeling sorry for myself but at least I can be open and honest here. I am 41, have no children, brothers or sisters, divorced, my only family is my mother and father who are a huge support for me. I am struggling with trying to find my purpose in life. I want to make a contribution to the world or help people in some way. I want my existence in this world to be for some purpose. I want someone to be better off in life from knowing me. I really want to give of myself somehow but I just don't know how to do it. I do small things like bring my friend flowers, bake cookies for someone, random acts of kindness, etc. but I am looking for something bigger than that. Surely I am not here just to be alone and feel as if I am existing in life and not contributing anything. Because that is how I feel. Any thoughts? Thanks for reading. Hope it makes sense.

Yes, it makes sense, my purpose in life is bringing my grandson up, but at 12yrs he refusing to attend school and started to stay out late, this made me feel like i had failed. This coupled with my various health issues makes me feel useless, I am 61yrs old, you are 41 which is relatively young. You are not too old to retrain, try searching online for something that you are good at, I don`t know your location mine is the UK where organisations like NSPCC do good work. I hope you find something to uplift you.

[gary290]

Hi bos314489, it's nice to meet you. I thought your post was very positive. I'm struggling to find my purpose in life also. I think that's a very positive and worth while endeavor - wanting to make the world a better place - making a difference. I wouldn't discount the little acts of kindness. I know for me if someone just smiles at me it goes a long way. In fact I've recently thought that being kind to ourselves and others is a really big deal. Imagine if everyone valued kindness - it would be a much different world. Perhaps volunteering is the answer. Humane Society, soup kitchen, local hospital, church/temple, or NAMI are just a few thoughts. Don't discount being supportive of others right here at PC. The world is lucky to have someone like you who wants to give back and make it a better place!

Gary290

[Thunder Bow]

You have been imprinted with the cultural directive to "Be Productive". It is that way because we are subservient to rich familys (we work). Let go of that directive, and just be yourself and do what you like doing, with out feeling the need to be "Productive".

[Perna]

I think it can be hard to judge our effect on those outside ourselves from inside? When I get to wondering what I am contributing, I think of the movie "It's a Wonderful Life" and how it just takes a small act to change things for others; your cookie-bringing could be important and you never know it. Think of the small things that have mattered to you in your life and that your teacher, friend-of-that-time, etc. may not have known/understand.

Too, there's the future and we don't know that maybe everything has been leading up to some moment 2 months from now? I believe we keep getting more ourselves/"bigger" as we go through life from what we are learning/experiencing and the process leads somewhere and what is in the process matters. I am a genealogist and like to think about how much "chance" there was getting to me; I specialize in maiden aunts and children who died young, etc., how they "mattered" in their own lives to their siblings or parents lives. I have a 3rd great grand aunt I'm studying now, she was born in 1755 and died in 1813, was a teacher (owned/ran her own school in London for 20 years or so) and how I don't know who her students were or who those girls married, but there's a ripple effect and something could have happened that was "necessary" and if my aunt hadn't been being herself, doing what she was doing, things would have been different, maybe in a negatively perceived way?

Pick something you enjoy, would like to study. I'm thinking about myself, I have no children of my own, am like my maiden aunts :-) and I'm remembering their stories, digging them up, getting to know their name and placing them in their "place" in my background. They were all "necessary" and helping in my development. My great grandmother was raised by her aunt, who never married, and the aunt was quite famous, her statue is in the US Capitol, representing the State of Minnesota: Maria Sanford | Architect of the Capitol | U.S. Capitol Building

Yes, she was "famous" and her niece, my great grandmother, was "just" a mother of my great uncle and grandfather, but my great grandmother also had two college degrees, earned in the early 1880's, and supported her family as my great grandfather (a signer of the Idaho Constitution in 1890, "famous" in his own right) was a failure at making money/business.

Our biggest task in life, I think, is to discover and "be" ourselves, work on what our background, aptitudes, interests and experiences give us to work on and nor worry so much about how useful it may/may not be. I'm thinking of writing a novel/diary for my 3 great grand niece to read in 50-75 years to encourage her