[saltysweet]

Hey everyone

I feel like I have a fear of rejection to the extreme... but it usually only happens with strangers. I suppose it manifests with my interpersonal relationships and romance as well (I'm 21 and I don't date for a variety of reasons but one of them is probably fear of rejection).

What I'm talking about is, for example, asking permission to do something or go somewhere. Whether this is at work or school, if I'm around someone who I don't know very well, if the answer is 'no' I instantly feel like crying. And it's NOT because I -reaally- wanted to do that thing, but it's because I feel humiliated and stupid for ever asking to begin with.

I don't want to have this reaction anymore, haha!

A concrete example is this: I work at a library and they have a book sale annually. The first day is open only to the "Friends" which are people who donate money to the library. Since I work here, some of my coworkers told me I could go during this sale and when I went and tried to get in, they denied me because I didn't pay the $10 fee. (I have like no money hence why I shop at booksales where books are 0.50 cents each!) I don't really care since the sale is open three more days in which I CAN go, but as soon as they told me no, I felt like just bawling and I felt so idiotic for even trying to get in.

Does anyone else relate? How do you cope with this feeling?

[Thunder Bow]

As a child you probably cried when you could not get your way. Or threw a tantrum when some one said No to you. Therapy will help you get to the root of this problem.

[happiedasiy]

Dear saltysweet,

You probally have an emotional attchment to the word "no" from childhood.
This word might take you back to times when you were vulnerable and needed permission to do anything. When we are children we have little power and when the answer is always "no" we feel belittled, denied, and unworthy.

But you are not a child anymore and you are in control of your life.
Only you can control your emotional reaction from this new perspective.
In life you will likely hear "no" more often then Yes.
Dont allow the fear of rejection to stop you for asking for what you want/need.

The fact that you worked for the library, asked if it was okay to go and they said yes. I would be embarrassed also. That was in bad taste of the Library.
I am a bookworm and love those sales!! Hide a book
Happiedasiy

[epluto8910]

I can relate to you even though I am still young when I get rejected I try to hold in all my tears until I can get to a place and be alone then I cry and let it out. Sometimes that helps but honestly i'm still trying to figure out how to deal with all that kind of stuff so I don't know if that helps but maybe try it and it might just help.