I'm pretty sure all of us have felt helpless every now and then. I mean, when I was young, all the bullies verbally assaulted me and I had no one to defend me. I couldn't defend myself. I so longed for someone to speak on behalf of me and telling them that I was not the kind of person that they thought I was. I often had nobody to turn to but now I feel like I should just let it go.

What did you do when you were in this situation? If only I had some friends to back me up, I wouldn't feel this way.

I have not only felt helpless, I've also felt hopeless and totally bereft.

It's taken years of therapy for me to learn to speak up for myself.

I could always speak up for others who were being bullied, picked on and abused, but not for myself for some reason.

Once you find it in you and start exercising it, it will get easier and easier to do.

Sometimes I still feel helpless, hopeless and totally bereft though.

I don't think it ever totally goes away.

[allimsaying]

Its one of the worst feelings I have ever known but I think its my experience thats taught me that truly, no one will take care of me if I dont do so myself. Its a real hard realization to realize, come hell or high water, I better learn to swim or become fireproof real fast. I still want to defend everyone else though, and Im thinking over about the times I did and maybe I shouldnt have. Its not good to help others learn helplessness, but, if someone truly is helpless, thats different. Its hard to know which approach to use when someone is a stranger. Good cons can set samaritans up easily.

I hated all my elementary teachers. Even though they were somewhat nice, overall they were mean and had nothing nice to say about me. Especially my first, third, and fifth grade teachers. My first grade teacher was the worst. She pulled my ears, threw a chalk at my friend, hit him with a ruler, and threatened to throw this one girl down the stairs. She kept comparing me with my then-friend, and she kept saying even he can do better than you to him. Now that I realize it, it was already bad enough.
My third grade teachers were the worst. First i transferred out of this one class where this woman who just can't seem to stop picking on me on purpose and i was already getting pretty annoyed. I cried several times and I was terrified. I couldn't concentrate in her class daily. she was a total ***** and I can hardly forgive her. I want to though but if she had only been nicer I would have been okay with that. so i took advantage of one situation where she laid her hands on me and i just told the principal that she had hit me and that i would be transferred out of her class. you see, she had it coming. if she had not made me cry she would not have been told. I told one of the biggest lies ever hoping that she would be punished for what she did. So basically it was kind of a payback but at the time when i was a kid i never really thought of it that way. All i wanted was to get out of that class. she told me that i was mentally retarded and everything. she even told other kids not to talk to me because she thought we were talking about her. and she joked about how these long things behind the window would come get her if she didn't leave early enough from school. Yeah, that was pretty scary. she was the worst woman ever and i will probably take some time to forgive her. then in fifth grade i had this one guy teacher--this was my first guy teacher ever--who had intimidated me so much that i felt like everytime i was in his room i just wanted to keep silent. i was kind of a troublemaker at the time because i made a few people cry and I was hoping that I would get a transfer from his class. Why? Because he sucked at teaching. All he ever did was spelling and math. History and science were rarely covered. If they can't teach, they shouldn't even be in a school setting. I wanted to get transferred out, i talked to the principal, and i deliberately avoided attending schools hoping that this would work. Well this didn't work. He made me cry several times. He told me that I could never get married and one female classmate named kate was telling me that too. and one time he announced my number in front of the whole class and I didn't want others to know. So kate was all being his sidekick, saying who would want to call you? and i was just wanting to say everybody. wait til you get your share of your deeds. I still hold these guys in contempt.

[growlithing]

Absolutely, I have felt helpless. Usually in that situation as a child I would immediately after it happened start imaging I was someone different or I'd start imagining stories with characters that exist in a different world. I'd draw pictures as well. I never actually took time to reflect on the situation until after I had been out of it for a little while. Sometimes, I'd imagine that someone was looking for me. I convinced myself that someone out there was just as lost as I was and needed my friendship. I would imagine that my dad isn't really my dad and there was a man out there who was desperately searching for me and would protect me from my mom. Now that I'm older, it really hurts because I know he's not coming and all I have is this guy who caters to my mom and ignores me.

As for handling bullies, I eventually just started eating lunch in the bathroom and not talking to anyone. Then, I'd go home and cry myself to sleep because I felt so lonely.

I wish I knew what you could do in a helpless situation.

[IcryWhoAmI]

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

I'm pretty sure all of us have felt helpless every now and then. I mean, when I was young, all the bullies verbally assaulted me and I had no one to defend me. I couldn't defend myself. I so longed for someone to speak on behalf of me and telling them that I was not the kind of person that they thought I was. I often had nobody to turn to but now I feel like I should just let it go.

What did you do when you were in this situation? If only I had some friends to back me up, I wouldn't feel this way.

Pretty much the same thing happened to me. I was bullied at Primary School, I still had some friends but they never defended me or anything. And they were always on and off with me. Some days we'd be friends and other days they'd stay away from me. I couldn't do anything about it but ignore it. I've always been too shy to stand up for myself, even now. I felt helpless but at the same time I didn't really have a lot of emotions then, I think I became numb after a while.
Had a slightly better time in High School though.
It's been easier for me to forget because I have such a bad memory so most of it is a blur now. And it was like over 10 years ago.
The bullies have probably moved on from it all by now, they might not even remember you, so why give them the satisfaction of remembering them? At least that's what I try to tell myself. I guess the memories and scars will still be there, you just have to try and put it all behind you.
Don't know what else to say, hope you're okay.

Originally Posted by IcryWhoAmI

Pretty much the same thing happened to me. I was bullied at Primary School, I still had some friends but they never defended me or anything. And they were always on and off with me. Some days we'd be friends and other days they'd stay away from me. I couldn't do anything about it but ignore it. I've always been too shy to stand up for myself, even now. I felt helpless but at the same time I didn't really have a lot of emotions then, I think I became numb after a while.
Had a slightly better time in High School though.
It's been easier for me to forget because I have such a bad memory so most of it is a blur now. And it was like over 10 years ago.
The bullies have probably moved on from it all by now, they might not even remember you, so why give them the satisfaction of remembering them? At least that's what I try to tell myself. I guess the memories and scars will still be there, you just have to try and put it all behind you.
Don't know what else to say, hope you're okay.

Hopefully I don't remember the bullies and they don't remember me. Hopefully my name does not ring a bell to them at all. Hopefully my name has been blotted out of their minds. Let's hope that it does. I don't want the scars to be there forever. There ought to be a way to obliterate them.

[Miswimmy1]

I have felt very helpless many times. In those instances, even though I have friends, I turn to myself. I journal, I think, I relax... and then trust myself.

[IcryWhoAmI]

Originally Posted by heyitsme7

Hopefully I don't remember the bullies and they don't remember me. Hopefully my name does not ring a bell to them at all. Hopefully my name has been blotted out of their minds. Let's hope that it does. I don't want the scars to be there forever. There ought to be a way to obliterate them.

I'm sure the scars won't be there forever, they'll fade away over time. Trust me

Originally Posted by IcryWhoAmI

I'm sure the scars won't be there forever, they'll fade away over time. Trust me

I want all my scars and wounds to die as well. I hope that I don't ever wallow in that state of mind ever again. I really want a better, brighter, more optimistic future. I hate to relive the past.