[gismo]

How do you get rid of the feelings of shame and guilt, they eat away at me every day they consume me. i feel guilty about every thing, not spending enough time with each of my kid's, spending money that i have not got on my self,my drinking espesially ect....the shame of my drinking is eating away at me, i just want to curl up in the corner because of how much this shame and guilt is hurting me...
I'am not on any meds or in therapy, i refuse to take any meds , they make me worse (and i have tried just about all of them) just need to know what i can do ........ please
gismo x

[gismo]

Forgive me if i do not reply to you to day , my lap top is going to the lap top Dr today.should be back there after.
gismo x

[Moodswing]

Shame is "I am a mistake" guilt is "I made a mistake". Is that what you fee? I feel shame but no guilt. Regret but not guilt.

[Leed]

Dearest Gismo ~ do you think you have a drinking "problem?" Do you believe you could be an alcoholic? Do you CRAVE the alcohol? Has it become a problem in your life? Perhaps you should go to AA, my friend. There is NO SHAME in being an alcoholic, if that is what you are, because it is a DISEASE. It's a RECOGNIZED disease by the American Medical Society. It's just the same as if you had diabetes, and you wouldn't be ashamed if you had that, would you? You wouldn't feel guilty if you had that, would you? I don't think so.

I think you know that I'm a recovering alcoholic. Yes, at first I felt guilt and shame until I LEARNED that it was a disease. Yes, it's a disease that *I* can control with HELP. But I cannot do it alone. Very, very few can. AA saved my life, and I'm not kidding.

Why not look into AA if you think that you have a drinking problem, and from what you say, you just MIGHT have, my dear friend. Gismo, drinking KILLS. It almost killed my son last summer, when his liver completely quit working, and he was on life support for several weeks!!! The doctors called me to the hospital telling me that he was dying!! I sat there, waiting for his last breath. The doctors don't know HOW he survived, but I do -- God intervened. The doctors keep saying he should NOT be alive, but he IS. He's doing fine, and his liver is working, even tho it's not at 100%, it's working!

Don't be a statistic, Gismo. Alcohol will damage your liver to the point of no return. And they don't do transplants on alcoholics. Private message me if you want to talk -- I've been there and done that. And I CARE. God bless my friend and take care. Hugs, Lee

[0w6c379]

I feel for you Gismo. It sounds like you are stuck in this never ending circle of addiction, guilt and shame. You need to do SOMETHING to break the cycle. Leed gave you great ideas to attend AA. You never have to say who you are at AA you are anonymous. You don't need to be diagnosed as an alcoholic to attend either. Anyone with a drinking problem can go to AA. Have you thought of counseling? Therapy can be a great source of comfort and support. You need lots of that right now. You say you don't spend enough time with your kids, well that means you do spend some time with them don't you? That is certainly better than no time at all. Clearly you love them and want to be here for them. You are going through an emotional crises right now and need to be kind to yourself. Improvement does not happen overnight. Take things slow and try to make small changes. Save a few dollars by not spending it on that extra bottle you think you'll need. Try finding a therapist. Try AA. Please try something different to help yourself and you will begin to feel better. Let us know how you are doing.

[spondiferous]

Hey gismo. Guilt and shame are something that usually not only result from things and experiences we're exposed to in the present but also stuff from the past. It can take a long time to work through that. But as an ex-drinker, I can guarantee the drinking isn't helping. I remember all too well being full of guilt and shame to begin with, and then on top of that piling on the guilt and shame of my drinking and associated side effects (being broke, isolating, pushing people away, sloughing off responsibilities, what I was doing to my health, not being able to stop, etc). It also sounds like therapy or some kind of counselling would do you some good. It's not always about taking meds, but having someone to process with, to help you unpack stuff and figure it out.

[gismo]

Thankyou all of you you dont know how much your replies meant to me,i really needed some sort of comfort from some where, hugs i guess and you gave them to me, i was going AA twice a week but had to stop for a while because of commitments at home,i going to start back up again next week, as for therapy , to get it free you have to be referred by your Gp. i will gain the strengh i have to , it's just fear that's holding me back, conqour that and i'am free.......
gismo x

[Leed]

Good for you, my friend! I'm happy to hear you're going back to AA. Just a word of advice (I'm sure you've had enough of THAT ) Try not to make other commitments interfere with your meetings. That can make the difference between sobriety and relapse. God bless! Hugs, Lee