100% hopeless

Ok so just to clear things up there are times in my life that I don't seem on the surface stressed out or irritated. But just underneath the surface I'm constantly feeling this ball of frustration/stress/irritation/anger ready to explode for little to no reason with little or no notice.

I'm fully aware of this situation but I seem to have no control over it. It's really starting to effect my life in ways that I fear will be un-fixable. It's affecting my ability to work. It's affecting my relationship. (my ability, or seemingly lack there of, to work is also affecting my relationship..) It's affecting my ability to do normal, every day things like going to the store, or something really basic like that.

I have serious depression, social anxiety, and general anxiety issues. I am currently really incapable of seeking professional help due to financial issues and living in the wonderful nation of America (no it really is a good country but our "healthcare" is horrible) and not having basic medical needs met.

I'm pretty much constantly on defensive mode these days. If I'm not currently being super defensive it doesn't take much to push me there. I know later on that I've just blown stuff out of proportion but in the heat of the moment all I can feel is: I'VE BEEN ACCUSED.. I'M IN TROUBLE.. THIS ISN'T FAIR.. I'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG AGAIN.. NOTHING WORKS OUT THE WAY I WANT IT TO.. etc etc..

I'm at my wits end here I need some advice from someone if anyone can give me any. I can't let my irrational yet seemingly uncontrolable thoughts and emotions ruin everything in my life.

The worst part about all this is that I feel like everything just is what it is and I fear that at 27 there's nothing I can do about it, it's too late.

Sorry if this is horribly put together or if it's too much/not enough information.

Hi justaron, and welcome to Psych Central!

Yes, our healthcare system is a bit "archaic"? Especially when one needs the sort of help it sounds as if you are in need of. (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy==turning all those negatives around--changing that catastrophic thinking you have going on---Me too!!
for many years!)

You are 27 years old; and you feel "it's too late" to get some help for yourself?

I know it's difficult. But, can you possibly google a Behavioral Therapist in your area who may accept your insurance? Or if you have no insurance, google NAMI in your area, and ask what possible programs they have which may be of little to no cost to you?

That's how I changed my life. I was taught how to turn my thinking around. Not an easy task; nothing worthwhile really is in my experience of my lifetime, and my twisted thinking.

You sound as if you are worth fighting for...

Please to pm me if you feel so inclined.

~~~~~Virago

I agree with Virago: if you don't treat things, they only get worse. And that's your problem.
Thank God you can feel it and are looking for a way out of it.
A T is usually very helpful.
If you don't find a helpful T at first try, don't get discouraged, they are exactly like doctors: some are good for us, some are not, but we must keep on searching.

You'll get by brother! Please do try exercise ! As simple as it seems, running, walking releases endorphins and helps with stress tremendously. Good luck friend.