[ExoticBagel]

Hello. I just got out of a three year relationship that changed my life and relocated me and whatnot. We broke up a little bit more than a month ago.

I guess because of my ADD, time moves extra slowly for me and I get really restless. Because of my major depressive disorder I feel lethargic and sometimes stare at my tv without even comprehending what I am watching. Because of my anxiety disorder though, being alone freaks me out. What if I try to kill myself? Who is going to call 9-1-1?

Yet, I honestly don't feel like dating anyone. I am not ready and I feel sooooo pessimistic about ever having a happy relationship. My self esteem is **** and I don't trust myself to choose another partner. I stopped sticking up for myself towards the end of my relationship and my self esteem is the blame. I just felt like no one else will love me and I have to make this work.

I need advice. I am uncomfortable with living even though everything is great. I moved out of my old apartment that my ex and I shared and I now live completely alone. Yet, I just feel these nasty bit of emotions. I feel like becoming an alcoholic again.

[Just Jenny]

Hello there....

Don't know if this helps or not but I really can relate. The older I get the more I realize something and maybe (just maybe) you could be doing the same thing.

I realize the patterns in my life and although I don't want to repeat them, it comes very naturally - like breathing.

If we put too much into making something work, the anwer is - it's work! I have a concept in my head and heart about how something should work - how relationships should be and what I expect from them so instead of just taking part in somthing and enjoying it, I (without intent) have an agenda of how things should be - how it appears.

Maybe ending the relationship can be a good thing. Maybe it's time to figure out who you are and spend some time just enjoying your own company! I've started to make a list at the end of each day of things I saw or took part in that made a difference - however small it might be. What it does for me is to help me focus on the good. Then I bask in it for awhile - enjoy it.

I only give myself one day a week to make a list of the things I wish would change in my life and as soon as I make the list, I do something most people may find a little odd but it works. I say, "If I was giving advice to someone I love on how to change this, what would I tell them?" The reason why my advice is to someone else is because I'm really good at trying to help others - not myself.

I hope your journey through everything you experience from this day forward is a life lesson. Namaste

[Yoda]

Perhaps you would enjoy the company of a pet. It doesn't replace human interaction but pets can be social.

[myjade_84]

Originally Posted by Yoda

Perhaps you would enjoy the company of a pet. It doesn't replace human interaction but pets can be social.

I agree with this. A pet can love you more than a human. I have a dog named Bella and i hug her everytime i feel lonely. I even talk to her and let her sleep on my bed.