Does Anyone Feel like this

I dont know whats up with my brain. Do I just have an overactive imagination or is it somehting more than just that?

I dont know I feel like no one "gets" me. Like they laugh at my humor but they dont take it the same way I do. I feel like I express myself on so many different levels than most people. Its really hard to describe its this undertone . I pay more attention to the process of expressing myself and its effect on my environment and then what the environment puts back at me. See? Did that make any sense?

It s like I can feel mysefl in different ways someone might think well thats just disassociation disorder but I dont feel like that. I dont have more than one personality. Its like people dont pay as much attention to themselves as I do.

I feel like a lab observational experiment into astounding depths of thought or something. Whats worse is I feel so alone and if theres others like me they dont bother reaching out either because they dont think anyone will "get" them either but now I cant meet them like that. Its paradoxical.

Its pretty hard for me to get whats stuffed in my brain out in readable form. I can hardly describe my personality. I just say I'm an alien. They way that I would like to communicate and relate to people is just so 'abnormal'. Others always say " I know how that feels," but it always seems like they dont take it as much as I do. They still have their 'normal' lives. I dont descriminate towards people I like them how they are but it would be great if someone understood so I dont have to search the whole galaxy one day when I build a spaceship.

I also really want to believe in things that are 'crazy' like superpowers. They say thats because of 'schizotypal' or something but I don't understand whats wrong with it. How is it inherently wrong? Why do we have to accept the most lowly form of reality? People say they believe these things too but then they just say 'lol' and go back to their job and stuff perfectly satisfied.

The worst thing about it all is the thought that others like me dont try to find others like them. I am very compelled not to do this as it is and it sucks because i cant explain anything very well. My thoughts are so oil and water.

Thats about as long as I can stand writing about something sad so I just wanted to add this:

Anyways thanks for taking the time to read I really appreciate that even if you dont reply its okay. Lots of well wishes to everyone

Well, everyone's different.

Are you saying

people do not pay as much attention to themselves as you pay attention to yourself

or

people do not pay as much attention to themselves as you pay attention to them?

Either way, I don't know how you would know? You are only yourself and yes, you may be overly "interior" (as I think of it) and playing on your own hamster wheel thinking you are getting somewhere or you may think you see things in others that they are not capable of seeing, but you cannot see into others as they are themselves as much as you are yourself.

I have paid too much attention to my own interior workings and not enough to my environment and interacting with it and those around me. With a lot of therapy I feel I am more balanced and less interested in what's going on inside me when I'm not "doing" anything that needs either introspection or attention to my relationships with others.

Thanks for the reply you raise some good points. I dont know how I know I have the history of being right about peoples intentions and thoughts. I do pay a lot of attention to the tiniest details in everything. Im told I waste time obsessing over it but how is it a waste of time to everyone? How do they declare such? Family have come to me like "we need to talk about something" and they think theyre going to admit a lot of truth to me about something but I already knew it. I have known someone is mad without asking or their even implying it. I suppose thats where I think I 'know.' You kinda have to dip into your intuition I guess.

Oh and I meant others dont mind themselves as much as I mind myself. I was afraid that wouldnt come across they way i wanted kinda like this whole thread.