[orangepyro]

I feel weird posting...'cause I'm new and all.
But ah, I just wanted to ask about something.

It's hard for me to put into words so bear with me.
Often, what others think is wrong...I don't think is wrong. Or I tell myself that yes, the situation was wrong, but I don't feel any repulsion or anything.
Let's say someone shares a story about how they were tied to a post and starved for days. While everyone seems to express things like "Oh my gosh" "i'm so sorry" "that's horrid!" I'm just like... "Oh."
And I feel nothing. I just brush the situation off. Or seeing something that is completely disturbing, I don't feel anything for that. Nothing fazes me.
Or if I do something that is morally wrong, I don't care, but everyone else freaks out on me.
Is this...just me? or a condition? or what? I'm bothered by it.

There's more I could share but I'll wait.
(Is this even the right category to place this?)

[orangepyro]

of course...

[A Red Panda]

It sounds like you have a lack of compassion. Do you ever have empathy for your friends?

Are you asking about this because you don't want to be different, or because you actually want to feel more empathy for others?

[Moodswing]

You are not alone. I am the same way and do not understand it either. Someone could drop dead in front of me and I would just step over their body to get to where I need to go.

I understand about social convention and how I am suppose to respond. Even though it is fake and forced but I learned how to behave like others so I am not a total outcast.

[orangepyro]

@CheshireCatGrin - I'm not sure. For both of those questions.

@Moodswing - Yeah. It's just the way I've seen society, seeing what others do. I didn't start thinking about it until recently.

[H3rmit]

On the other hand, have you ever actually seen someone suffering like that? Have you suffered badly yourself? Or are you talking about verbal and visual depictions of these things?

[orangepyro]

That doesn't matter.

[A Red Panda]

Yeah it does! It's pretty easy to just not really react to something that's very disconnected from you. Like... hearing about people dying in a war. It's tragic, but even when you see horrific pictures? It's fairly easy to not be affected.

But if you hear that your friend's cousin just died in a horrific car accident? Usually you would feel sad or down - not necessarily for the cousin, but for your friend.

Do you feel happy when your friends tell you about things that they're happy about?

It's just, if you're lacking in empathy and if you also lack a conscience? Have you read about narcissism or antisocial personality disorder? There's sections on this site that have information about them. You could see if you relate to it at all?

Do you see a therapist? If you do, you might want to address this. If you don't, maybe it would be worth it? They'd be able to help you figure things out a LLOOOOOT better than we would.

Like... I can't read your mind, and I really only know a very little based on what you've said. I can make loads of wild guesses, but they're meaningless.

[orangepyro]

Oh, I see what you're saying now. The way you worded it made me feel as though you were asking about a certain thing I didn't want to answer.
Both I guess. If anything happens to someone I know, it doesn't have an effect on me. If someone is talking about something, it doesn't have an effect.

I've read into those, but I honestly don't know? It's hard to explain.
I'm not even sure it's an exact disorder, I think it may just be the way I am.

And no I do not see a therapist. I'm kind of against that idea. I understand how it would help, but, no.

I just kind of drop into these episodes where I get really 'chaotic evil' is what my friend calls it. It is just like it sounds. I tend to lie a lot during these episodes, become extremely rude, paranoid and just flat out break. It's annoying. I also have the sudden urge to harm myself?
These episodes used to be rare, but lately I've been experiencing them more and more often. I've only been able to contain my paranoia and everything for short periods of time. Right now I'm fine, which is why I'm here.

[A Red Panda]

I don't really like the idea of attending therapy myself. I'm giving it a go though because I think it will be helpful to me if I can overcome the barrier. Have you ever wrote down a list of all the things about yourself that you don't think fit in with the "norm"? If you get a whole list written out, then you could always go over it and see if you could make connections between them.

Like, from your last post... I can guess at a few things which you might put on that list: 1. lack of empathy 2. lack of conscience 3. paranoid episodes 3. lie 4. urge for self-harm.

If you write them all down, then you could see if you fit into a bit of a personality disorder or something, if you're wanting to see where you might "fit". Or not. you could always take the list in to see a councellor, explain that you aren't wanting to undergo therapy, but just wish to understand what they think might be up? I don't really know. I'm just trying to think of suggestions for you, since this seems to be something which bothers you to some degree.

I'm sorry if anything that I said or asked made you feel like I was prying or something - I'm really not! I'm just trying to help you sort out your own thoughts. It's sorta hard for me to think of suggestions or that, because I feel a huge amount of empathy most of the time and I always feel bad about things I do - hell, I even feel bad about the bad things that other people do to me! So... I'm sorta on the opposite end of the spectrum here.

[orangepyro]

That's a good idea.

Thank you for your help, I really appreciate it.

Don't worry about it. Ha, everybody's different I guess

[A Red Panda]

Anytime! Good luck!

[orangepyro]

Thanks!

[avlady]

I think people hve become numb from all the bad things that have happened in the news, more news being available, and movies and music too all have something to do with it. do you like any type of music that you can feel for. maybe you should look into the music, i took a music therapy class in college and it was very interesting.

[orangepyro]

yeah.
I'll try it.

[Monsterfox]

You're not the only one I'm very similar if not maybe the same? When someone dies I don't cry and others tend to think I'm some sort of heartless monster. But instead I cry because I feel bad for myself or for no important reason which similar towards my anger and self harm. I don't see a therapist also, I think it's just the way I am. We're all humans not angels that all have the same personality. Everyone's different. Some just take it to heart more than others.

Don't feel bad it could be just be random mood swings... I get that a lot.

[orangepyro]

Ah, thanks for your input.

[-jimi-]

I don't have a lot of empathy. When people say "this and that person got murdered", I'm like... OK.

That doesn't mean I think it is fine they got murdered. I still think it is wrong and on a theoretical level I can understand that people now will suffer because of the murder.

I've never suffered from this, I can't imagine how messy it would be to feel for people you don't even know. My mind is cluttered with emotions and thoughts anyway. I still want the best for my friends, I want them to be happy and if they would die I would miss them a lot.

I've always been this way.

[orangepyro]

Ah, I see.

[Thunder Bow]

Disassociation is both good and bad and all between. It good you don't fear rejection by others and are just being Yourself, as you should be. You left Guilt behind and that is good. Now work on being and seeing with your Heart. When you feel in your Heart, You will be front and center.

[orangepyro]

...I'm not sure I fully understand what you're saying, but ok.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by orangepyro

Let's say someone shares a story about how they were tied to a post and starved for days. While everyone seems to express things like "Oh my gosh" "i'm so sorry" "that's horrid!" I'm just like... "Oh."
And I feel nothing. I just brush the situation off.

Would you feel nothing if the person were you? Do you feel anything for yourself?

[orangepyro]

I feel a lot for myself. Lets say someone hits me, I feel horrible. But I force myself to not care.

[shaggydoo]

Can you think of anything prior to your episodes that might be triggering them? A feeling? Something you saw? A particular phrase? Also, there is a term called “acting out” that I may have some validity here. As you said you have more to say and I think that information is important to help diagnose your state of being.

[orangepyro]

...Anything that has the word 'abuse' in it is extremely triggering. That's the only one I've identified.
I'll look into that.
Ha, I think I forgot what else I was going to add. I'll have to think about it.