[avaricious]

I've been feeling like this for the last couple of months.. I just feel like I am no longer the "me" I used to know. I feel empty or hollow inside like a body without a soul or a person without a personality. I find myself just 'living' for names sake.

My Dad was never around, ever since my mother moved back home and forced me to live in the middle of nowhere, I find myself over thinking everything in my life. My grades have since dropped way below the average to the point where skip schooland I lie to my family about my results as they would never understand what I'm going through especially my mother who always criticizes and belittles and compares me to other learners or students, to the point where I've isolated myself from the world. IM trying to pick up the pieces but I'm failing miserably.
I've lost patience with friends and stopped trusting everyone. I'm quieter than ever and I don't want to go out very much anymore.

I don't feel close to friends or family anymore. I'm frustrated and irritated all the time because I feel like something's missing from me like a jigsaw with missing pieces.

[gayleggg]

Is there a school counsler you can talk to? I would suggest a pdoc but from what you said of you mother I don't guess asking her to see one would be taken well. You sound very depressed and in need of someone to confide in. I have depression and understand the feelings you describe. Keep posting on here. There are a lot of good listeners and nice people.
Gayle

[avlady]

AvariciousWelcome!!!!Don't let your mother get to you, she sounds unhealthy in what she says to you and that is probably why you feel like you do, at least one of the reasons. Keep trying to do good in school, or take some time off from it until you can cope with it, i know as when i was in college i was stressed out all the time, but made it through with a C avareage, not good but i did do it and you can too. I went to a counselor during it and that helped alot. I also have scchitzoaffective and depression, i know how you feel, just to let you know you can work on it and get better, or at least deal better with your symptoms. Have a great day!!!I hope i helped you!!!

[Thunder Bow]

There is more to the "World" than just your Mother!

[sudsmeupp]

I can relate with almost everything you've said, especially with isolating yourself and your mother being harsh on you with a lot of things.

Are you currently taking any meds? If so maybe it's time to go back to the drawing table and figure out what else might be able to help you better, and if not it may be a benefit to look into finding a psychiatrist because it definitely sounds like you're struggling with some emotions and things that are out of your control. It also sounds like you could benefit greatly from having a therapist to talk things out with, mine has definitely helped me a lot to come up with different coping mechanisms and things that I can do to help me through different situations.

Just from my personal experiences even if it is a very difficult thing to do it almost always makes things better to be honest with the people around you. My mother was always hard on me too because she never understood what was going on with me and I was scared to open up to her too - but once I did and she saw how much I was struggling and I let her know that I was having a difficult time with a lot of things - it wasn't nearly as bad as imagined and it felt much better just to communicate and be open about things and she was so much more understanding once I explained things to her directly. She's your Mom so even if she's harsh on you sometimes she is always gonna love you no matter what. Dont forget that it never hurts to ask for a little bit of help if you need it!

Hang in there!! You're not alone!