Hate and anger and loneliness

Not sure if this is the right place to post this...but i am feeling so lost...so alone, so lonely.

and i feel such intense anger and hatred toward myself.

my meds aren't right, i know that. can't get in with a stupid pdoc.
i just don't know what to do with all of these intense feelings. i just want to self destruct. i made promises to my T that i won't.

i hate feeling so alone, and so depressed. and so hopeless.

just need some support and encouragement

I hope you are feeling a bit better, now.

No I'm not. I just feel like...I don't even know. Ugh. I hate it when I can't find the right words.

I'm sorry you are not feeling better. Is there something you enjoy doing that you can do while you wait to see your doctor? Go for a walk or take a bubble bath or something of that nature? I hope you feel better soon.

I hope you're ok. I have nothing helpful to add, other than get a pdoc asap. Hope you are getting help

Glad you are seeing a therapist and have and appointment with a pdoc. You can't really tell meds might help. Don't disregard them without at least considering the if your pdoc suggests them. I would concentrate on some stress reducing technics such as breathing exercises and relaxation tapes. Good luck and best wishes.
Gayle

i know meds will probably help. i am having a difficult time getting into see one.
we've talked about possible hospitalization just so i can see a pdoc. I don't know. I just finished all my assignments for my class that ends on sunday, so I have time if I have to go. but i don't want. to. i just have to be out for classes to start next monday.

Finishing assignments are a good sign. That means you are on the road to recovery. When you are healing, sometimes you will feel extreme depression, as you let go of those old feelings that been making you sick and holding you back.

went to the hospital for a few days. got med changes. got a little bit of hope.
i traveled to a different city in order to get better help, and the hospital bit was good. at first they were going to try to set me up with pdoc and DBT therapist/group in a city about an hour from where I live. They also said my T isn't qualified to help me because she is an intern, though we have a good therapeutic relationship and I feel like I can really trust her.

anyway, so then they (pdoc and social worker at the hospital) decide to pursue follow up in my town...at the same place i was seeking help before (where I went in last week and told them I wasn't ok, couldn't get in the walkin appointments and my case manager just let me walk out in tears). So now..>I get to meet with said case manager on Tuesday morning. Was told that this place can provide me "mental health support" a couple times a week and should never refuse to see someone in a crisis situation. blah blah blah

I don't know....feeling hopeless again.

I know the feeling, just hating life and all..