[stainedglassheart]

Something happened to me today that took me off guard but really got me thinking. I've had this dark cloud hanging over me for a while now. I've felt worthless, sadness, anger, lonely and who knows how many other negative emotions. For some reason, out of the blue I asked myself if I actually wanted the depression to lift. I've had people give advice on ways to help myself and I've read similar advice being given to others in a similar situation. Its all good advice but I wasn't doing it for some reason. Am I afraid to feel better? I can't explain why but by asking these questions I feel I've taken a small step closer to feeling better. Its like I had to admit to myself I'm standing in the way of feeling happy again. Time will tell. Might sound weird but in my messed up mind it makes sense.

[Thunder Bow]

Bad feelings can be like old friends, they are hard to say goodbye to.

[kaliope]

being honest with ourselves is the first step in getting better. in setting a goal, we have to be honest about where we are at to start with before we can set our goal of getting anywhere different. when we are depressed it is hard to see the level of depression we are at. it takes small break throughs for us to recognize where we are at and hopefully when we have that recognition we do something about it. take care.