Trying to get back to who I am

Hi everyone, Hope you are all well. This is my first post here I just wanted to see if anyone else is dealing with a similar thing, Sorry if this is under the wrong topic. It's an emotional thing so I figured it'd be best suited here.

So long story short, I am a 26 year old female, who works full time in finance, and I live with my long term boyfriend.

I started having depression and anxiety issues when I was around 15 or 16, I went on anti depressants at aged 19 and then things started to take off in my life a little. Ive always been a very creative minded deep thinking person, never really known what I want from life and never been too bothered about that so long as I am happy enough with who I am inside.

I moved away from my home, and mum and dad (who I was very close to) and moved across the country to live with my partner 2 years ago. Since then I have got a decent job and i love our flat, I also have LOTS of friends but they are all very different types of people to me. I feel like moving to an area that is so far removed from who I am has completley changed me. I no longer feel deeply about anything, I dont remember when I last wrote, or painted anything. My diet is awful, (generally busy and no longer vegetarian so lots of red meat ) I feel like I look completley different to who I am, Ive put weight on, my hair is different, even my style. and Ive changed so much because I think i wanted to fit in with the people here but now I can't remember who I used to be if that makes sense.

I feel totally disconnected from myself and I can't talk to my boyfriend about it really because even though he loves me obviously he isn't much of a deep thinker and might not understand what I mean. BTW, it has never bothered me that he isnt a deep person, I love him for him and am happy with the relationship im just having some internal struggles right now

I go out drinking with my friends at least once a week and although I dont drink through out the working week, when it comes to the weekend I seem to spend all my money getting drunk and I just feel depressed the day after, but I can't seem to break the cycle. My diet, my style, my social life, everything has changed and I really want to rediscover myself but I am scared of whats happening to me

Sorry if this was long and boring, can anyone offer any help, or understanding??

thanks much love xoxox

Hello rebecca,

It's nice to meet you. Welcome to PC

I can relate to your story, so thank you for sharing it. I can particularly relate to having to deal with anxiety and depression at a young age. I can also relate with the feeling of losing myself. I found that therapy and medication have helped me along with talking about it with the supportive people here. Sometimes it feels overwhelming but I hope you find some relief in talking about things with people who get it.

I am sure others here can also relate to your feelings. The sub-forums for Depression and Anxiety are full of amazing, helpful people so feel free to check them out and talk more about what you're going through.

I can reassure you that you're not alone in what you're feeling.

thank you for your kindness