[PeachCream22]

Recently, I've found out a lot about a close friend of mine. She has these secret rants on the internet to strangers, and she doesn't tell her REAL friends about it, because she's "afraid for her reputation" and she's apparently pressured into thinking she should be the nice person and let her feelings be all bottled up. She doesn't trust anyone, but expect people to trust her. She loves helping out people for that reason, and is great when listening to other people's problems. She's very nice, but...after reading all those things she said, I felt shattered. I've always wondered why she didn't have any emotions that needed sorting out, so this explained a lot. i have been friends with her for 7 years. I trusted her with my secrets, and I felt bad about bothering her about it, but of course she said she didn't mind. She never talked to me about her problems. Though I've said she could always come to me. I was torn. But she's human too, right? Hence her posts and rants. What? Am I supposed to be angry at her? When I don't actually have the right to? She knows I've read her stuff, (another friend of mine told me about the rant posts and I went to read them and the very same friend told her I've read it) and unsurprisingly, she doesn't seem to need to do anything about it. She pretends every thing is alright and secretly hates people. i mean...am I supposed to still stay friends with her? i keep crying as i remember all the good memories and all the things she's done for me. She was so good to me. And i've been nothing but a piece of scum to her.

what's the point in telling and confiding anyone when they're ALL GOING TO LEAVE YOU IN THE END?! AND THEY SECRETLY HATE YOU? I'M losing it right now.....what's the point?! what's the point? Might as well keep it to yourself and not trouble anyone about it, and if you get insane about it, then it's your problem! I'm gonna start pretending everything is ok and not talk to anyone about it? Is that what's right? I'd rather be alone! And here I am ranting, what a hypocrite, but this is the place to rant, and...I'm glad I've found it..thank you for those who have read this post. Even if you don't know what to say, still thank you for taking the time to read.

[avlady]

I read your post, i'm sorry you feel this way about her. Maybe you should just understand her problem, she sounds like she has some issues, not your fault but i think you should still be there for her. Stick it out and maybe someday soon or later she'll be able to communicate better because of you. I'm sure secretely she is loving you to some degree but just can't seem to get a grip on it. I was like that until i realized i was putting people in a bad situation and learned from it, i am better able to communicate because there was someone there, my mother and father whom i hated for getting me help years ago, but am happy now in the long run, i needed the help but wouldn't accept it because i was sick.You can just be a sounding board for her, I'm sure she appreciates your hep, maybe just can't show it yet-it's a long road ahead of both of you if you want to continue helping this person. I say in the long run you should continue to help.

[pegasus]

Hello PeachCream22,

I have to admit that I do the same thing as your friend. It feels better to put it out to strangers rather than worry any friends with how I truly feel. I don't think your friend is doing this to slight you, rather she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.

[Skywoulf]

I agree with both previous posters, and here is some food for thought.....

if the friendship is worth saving, then it is also worth fighting for!

[PeachCream22]

Thank you for the feedback, everyone..

avlady: Yeah, I'm planning to still be there for her. She's been such a great friend, but how? How can I be there for her when she just naturally pushes people away and thinks it's right? I mean, do I stand by her and be patient? Do I talk to her about it?

pegasus: I really don't know how to feel about my friend right now. I wouldn't mind if i just got to know her, but it's been years! haha..

Strangerinthecorner: Yup, i definitely think it's worth saving and worth fighting for!

[Puchilin]

I can fully relate. My best friend of 20 years from one day to another pulls the plug on our friendship via SMS saying that we have drifted apart and that I am not as available to her when she really needs me etc. I know she is high strung and very judgemental lost her mum 2 years ago her maternal grandma 6 months ago same happened to me I lost my mum 13 years ago and my grandma one month before hers passing. I was there through thick and thin for her, pushing myself to the edge of exhaustion trying to cope with my own grief of losing my grandma also that year my relationship with my two youngest girls dad fell apart due to abuse towards my eldest different fathers....
I also don't hate her and I know that if tomorrow she needed me I still would be there. I know she feels alone she is not married nor any kids 38, and yes depression etc i know those feelings and I also know how to be my worst enemy is by pushing people who are the closest to me to the edge, well she did just that this time pushed me too close to the edge and I fell.....from that day I have only heard from her twice both asking for things where she knows I can only get them ...... So she does not want to do the hard yards but still wants stuff from me what am I a dealer/ butler / superwoman she hurt me where it hurt the most...,,and all via SMS not even via phone nor face to face ....I know and I am sorry this thread was about you and not me....,, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone

[PeachCream22]

Originally Posted by Puchilin

I can fully relate. My best friend of 20 years from one day to another pulls the plug on our friendship via SMS saying that we have drifted apart and that I am not as available to her when she really needs me etc. I know she is high strung and very judgemental lost her mum 2 years ago her maternal grandma 6 months ago same happened to me I lost my mum 13 years ago and my grandma one month before hers passing. I was there through thick and thin for her, pushing myself to the edge of exhaustion trying to cope with my own grief of losing my grandma also that year my relationship with my two youngest girls dad fell apart due to abuse towards my eldest different fathers....
I also don't hate her and I know that if tomorrow she needed me I still would be there. I know she feels alone she is not married nor any kids 38, and yes depression etc i know those feelings and I also know how to be my worst enemy is by pushing people who are the closest to me to the edge, well she did just that this time pushed me too close to the edge and I fell.....from that day I have only heard from her twice both asking for things where she knows I can only get them ...... So she does not want to do the hard yards but still wants stuff from me what am I a dealer/ butler / superwoman she hurt me where it hurt the most...,,and all via SMS not even via phone nor face to face ....I know and I am sorry this thread was about you and not me....,, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone

i'm so sorry for what you've been going through. No, it's okay, you're welcome to talk here to about your own life. It not only gives me useful insight, but also lets me know I'm not alone, as you said. I don't think even my situation was as bad as yours, and I think it's more like the opposite? Since she doesn't come to talk to me AT ALL but she was always there for me.

Wish you the best in your endeavours.