[PeachCream22]

Basically, drama involved a series of breakup, betrayal with friends and an ex. Now the drama is over. I should be glad, but I'm angry. I feel wronged, I feel like I can't ever trust anyone again about my feelings, I feel like everyone's so happy and done with it and I'm the only one left behind to deal with it, because apparently stepping and crushing my feelings was the solution to their moving on from this.

I'd rather be alone from now on. I'll never forget what happened. And the anger and tears just won't stop. And it's still affecting me. Very very badly. At least I can take comfort from the thought I apparently "won't hurt anyone anymore". I don't want friends. I don't want anyone to be friends with me. I don't want to meet people. I want to be alone forever and die alone. I HATE PEOPLE RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY SECOND. THE PEOPLE WHO WERE IN MY LIFE AND CAUSED ME SUCH PAIN I CAN'T BREATHE...I feel betrayed, lonely, I'm so messed up, AND I'M THE ONE WHO'S LEFT BEHIND TO SUFFER LIKE THIS. I HATE IT. AND the worst thing....I CAN'T STOP BLAMING MYSELF...and it surfaces in the form of depression, and anger, and then suicidal thoughts....and i have to pretend and smile and say to everyone I'M ALRIGHT WHEN I'M SO NOT. BECAUSE NO ONE GIVES A F***** DAMN. NO ONE.

I'm grateful I joined. I really don't know how I would have coped. Thanks for reading.

[gayleggg]

I'm sorry that you were let down and hurt by your friends and ex. I think you will have to go through the grieving process to get through to the other side. It's not an easy ride, but eventually the pain lessens. I'm glad you're here too.

[winter4me]

I have had this experience, long ago now. You will need to grieve in your own way. And somehow remember that the others, whatever they did to you, are somehow "dealing" with or "experiencing" their own troubles though it is awful hard to see what they might be.
Remember, we are here, we do care, and that means, us being real people in the world, there are others out there who do care/can understand. Take all the time you need, but do not berate yourself, or allow the acts of others to determine your path. You cannot give them that power, it is a life-sucking, demoralizing place to live.
Time, patience, break it down to steps towards your own light. (yeah, I know, easy to say, but, give yourself all the time you need, just don't let it damage you forever, although the experience will linger on, pop out at inopportune times, and change over time...) (((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))))))))

[PeachCream22]

Originally Posted by winter4me

And somehow remember that the others, whatever they did to you, are somehow "dealing" with or "experiencing" their own troubles though it is awful hard to see what they might be.

Take all the time you need, but do not berate yourself, or allow the acts of others to determine your path. You cannot give them that power, it is a life-sucking, demoralizing place to live.

Thank you for saying all that. Yeah, it's hard. Just feels so alone, and when you're alone, you want help, right? And then the ones you cared about betrayed you. Who else is there to turn to? I understand they have their own problems, but I guess I'm just tired of being stepped on. People shouldn't use me or you or anyone to solve their own problems. And there's nothing you can do about it. But I guess right now we just gotta focus on ourselves to make ourselves happy. And there's nothing wrong with that, right? And you're right, I'm not gonna let them control my life...not anymore.

[Jeannie82]

Time always heal everything, perhaps not all but we all learn from it. It's never easy especially when you are going through so much at one time, I feel so sorry for you. A lot of times we are our own demons, we trapped ourselves in places that we never thought we could be capable of.

Talk it out, write it out, scream it out, whichever helps you and your journey to recovery!