anyone else feel this way? I don't feel like i want to live anymore but i am too chicken to suicide. so i'm left with feeling horrible cos i am not liked and i am a total failure.

[Catsarecool]

Yup can totaly relate to that just hang on there

I know this is a really really small thing in comparison to the rest of the world and how crappy it can seem sometimes:
"I run into your posts all over the boards.
Frankly, it's pretty fantastic and sometimes reading a couple is actually the highlight of my day."
...but that's still true.
I can put it on your wall every now and then to remind you, if it would help.
What you do and who you are and therefore the imprint you leave matters. I don't know if it matters that it matters to me in particular, but well, that is your business to figure out I suppose.

Warmth,
Josie.

[MotownJohnny]

I think we all feel like that. I sat in my office yesterday contemplating whether or not I am the scum of the earth and deserve to be shot execution style because I was in a psych day program 13 months ago. All while dealing with a situation with the crackhead who put me there, trying to arrange housing because they are being evicted due to his threats and drug use. And trying to work with the manager at their current complex to get them out without it escalating into a police situation.

Funny, yesterday, I decided compared to that dude, I'm a pretty good guy.

The problem isn't who we are, it's who we think we are, which is worse by far than reality.

[winter4me]

Oh yeah. I relate to this. It comes and goes, too often overstays its "welcome"...

i am sure you're not worthless.

hang in their

[Gus1234U]

i wouldn't mind if you'd change that terrible sign name, IT, but you are not such a bad person... i'd like to see you be a little more positive, but i remember when i coudln't do it either, and i barely survived it...

i hope you find something to hang on to, and stay with us ~

[unaluna]

It wouldn't be pc without an illegal toilet!

And who would walk your spider? Or order chicken?

Too late buddy you're one of us now

[IowaFarmGal]

Yep, I'm thinking that today. I should go look through my binder and see what it suggests. Too bad other peoples lies get caught in our heads when we're little and stay there.

[comeoneiline]

That is not good. You need to seek professional help immediately, and I am serious. Because if you make that decision, you are not only punishing yourself but everyone around you. I had a major depressive episode myself this past summer, but I am over it, thank God. Good luck!

[ptangptang]

Hey IT you would be missed on here. Some people don't like you but then some people don't like me. Actually i don't really think they dislike you , they just don't get you or me. You can't please everyone. Be yourself. Who would look after your pet amoeba?, Who would i have to wind up about the Australian cricket team ( esp with the test series coming up that England will win), what would happen to your huge porn collection ( hmm you could pass it on to me though), Where would people go to get their daily dose of Umbrage from. Sure they can come to me but i can't service all of PC. See IT you have to think about these things. See you in chat sometime.

[eblam81]

I am new in this forum and I just read your post along with some of the other posts responding to you. I don't like hearing anyone feeling like your feeling. I've had those feelings myself and I've been "on the edge" before and I know that dark place. PLEASE, PLEASE find a place that you can hold onto that you remember giving you pleasure, happiness, good feelings...good memories. Those memories are in you just as the dark ones are. Bring those out now. Hold onto that and remember that these feelings go away just as they came. I don't mean to preach to you, I'm just trying to give you what helped for me. I had to reach way down inside through the tears and pain and lonliness and do it for ME....Do it for YOU. YOU are worth it. Your life is yours and you deserve a life. It's work but it's worth it. People can help, but you need to reach out for that help. Good luck and please stay with us! We want you to.

[anneo59]

I have sure felt that way, before, Illegal!!! But in your case, I can say, it's clear to me that you are well liked and NOT at all a total failure. I really enjoy your posts and think may find them helpful! You hang in there!

[GeorgiaGirl413]

IT is getting help. Sorry you feel this way bud. I can totally relate. Can you challenge these negative thoughts and understand that what you feel is not necessarily reality? Can you try to think more positively? We can get caught in these negative thought spirals that just bring us further and further down. Limit the time that you allow yourself to think these negative thoughts. Get up and do something, anything, that will redirect your thinking.

[avlady]

I also was hopitalised this year, still fighting the feeling that i want to be on the pshyc ward again-isn't that sad??? I hope you feel better, these feelings come and go, stick to you routine, it helps if you have a routine to have a feeling of accomplishment for the day, even if it's 1 or 2 things.

[wisedude]

I like you OP!!!

You just need some positive people in your life to spoil you and tell you that you are worthwhile I reckon.

Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet

anyone else feel this way? I don't feel like i want to live anymore but i am too chicken to suicide. so i'm left with feeling horrible cos i am not liked and i am a total failure.

First IT, it's real courage to keep facing life everyday. I have had that feeling more often than I care to remember, but life takes courage, and obviously you have it, you are still here.

You are not a failure IT. I've talked to you a few times in chat, and while you can come across a little crass, I like you. You are not a failure.

Okay repeat after me: "I am not a failure, and I am brave."



Jeff

[SunnySky]

I am relating to your first post A LOT today.
A LOTTT

Tomorrow is a new day. Hopefully, the bright side will appear.

[ptangptang]

Might be a nice thought to say thanks to the people for sending you good wishes IT. Be nice to people (even if you have to force yourself to) it's much easier than being nasty and maybe people will like you all the more for it.

[Gingersnapsmom]

I have never felt that I fit in with others anywhere.....ever....also feel a failure too. I relate to u too.

[Yoda]

Hey Illegal Toilet, I just found your thread. I like you very much and appreciate your quirky sense of humor.

[I am human]

I have been feeling the same way , it is a dark feeling, I tell myself well just embrace it for now and push yourself up, little by little, if you fall start again.

I'm not here this isn't happening just provokes horrible anxiety for me!

I actually forgot about this thread.

[ImReady757]

Everyday of my life. For a first time Im in a healthy functioning relationship with someone who I truly care about, my son is 15 not on drugs, straight A student, and I have a wonderful puppy who adores me..I KNOW these things..I can see them..can touch them..but something inside of me pulls me into another direction.

I know your pain and understand....find something small, even if you think its insignificant and hold on to it....pull strength from it and own it.

Even if only a moment..you'll feel better...please don't give up..I havent

[AFRAID IN TENNESEE]

I feel that way every day of my life. The reason i dont kill myself is i am to afraid to.i am alone,i can't do anything right! Lets at least be friends.do you want to?