[pleaseilluminateme]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to be posting this but, we'll see.

I'm really struggling to deal with everything in life right now. My roommate/"best friend" knew I was depressed, I had a bad night and didn't come out of my room for a week, because that's how I deal when I'm stressed. She knows that. instead of trying to talk to me, she ignored me for that week, and then came into my room the other night to tell me she's already talked to the landlord, and I can either have this apartment, move into a one bedroom or break the lease entirely. None of which I can afford. And she knows that. She said she doesn't want to deal with me anymore, she thinks I'm going to kill myself, and she isn't going to drive me to the hospital if I OD again.
This was so out of the blue, I don't know how to handle it. When she talked to me about it, I just completely shut down. I barely remember it happening. I am completely unable to deal with these emotions and communicate with her. For the past few days she's yelled at me and sent me hateful text messages, but I just can't do it. I can't handle everything I'm feeling, from this situation and others going on right now, and I don't know what to do.
What is wrong with me?I don't know why I always shut down. My inability to communicate and deal with what I'm feeling is getting to the point where its ruining everything.

[Freewilled]

I'm sorry it sounds horrible for you right now. I don't know how to help but wanted to let you now that you're not alone. I understand that feeling of just not knowing what to do and feeling so confused. I don't know why I shut down and can't communicate my feelings either. I'm in therapy and have been for the past 10 months....I wish I could say I'm getting better but it appears that it is going to be a long, hard road. I just hold on and try to keep hope that I can do something, albeit how small, to work towards the better. Hang in there

[BLUEDOVE]

Why not write a letter?