[PeachCream22]

Hopefully this post will be of use to you all.

Ever since breaking up and all those sad stuff with my ex, my emotions have drastically changed. I feel like I've got a new perspective on everything and my mind is wired another way now. Everything is different. My actions, my feelings, and even some physical aspects. Ever since the past happened, everything had changed so dramatically. Does anyone feel like that?

Some nights I have nightmares. Sometimes when I sleep, my whole body feels like it's on pins and needles and I find it difficult to breathe. From head to toe. I feel scared, like I'm about to die. It felt uncontrollable. I thought it was normal pins and needles but it was like my whole body couldn't be controlled. It lasts for only a few seconds though, and it only happens when I sleep. But it's never happened before.

Whenever i got upset last time, I could just work it out with some exercise and I would feel better. But this time, whenever I get stressed out about something, I IMMEDIATELY think of killing myself because I feel like nobody cares anymore and I'm just so tired of the stress. It only happens when I'm in very upsetting situations. Otherwise I'm fine. The killing myself emotion comes on very suddenly, and I'm afraid one day I might actually get tired of crying my heart out and actually lose my life. I try my best to think positive about my friends and what I like doing, but the negative emotions are just so strong.

Take note that perhaps I am in the middle of deciding for university and taking a big turn in life might have something to do with it, and my past was coincidentally at the same time. Perhaps all the stress just got to me and is affecting me very badly.

I want to know the exact cause and how to cope with things like this. Thanks. Any thoughts are very much appreciated.

[Sabra]

Good morning,

"Whenever i got upset last time, I could just work it out with some exercise and I would feel better. But this time, whenever I get stressed out about something, I IMMEDIATELY think of killing myself because I feel like nobody cares anymore and I'm just so tired of the stress. It only happens when I'm in very upsetting situations. Otherwise I'm fine. The killing myself emotion comes on very suddenly, and I'm afraid one day I might actually get tired of crying my heart out and actually lose my life."

the first time I thought about killing myself, I was 6 or 7. I always believed if things got too bad I had a fallback plan. I now refer to it a my default setting. The last pdoc I saw, I asked him if that would always remain. He looked at me over the top of his glasses and responded...."yes".

There is an old saying.......we are not responsible for thoughts that come into our mind, but we are responsible if we let them build a nest. The fact that you can recognize it gives you the chance to process why you feel that way and then develop strategies to work through it faster. Acknowledge the feelings and find alternative steps.

Regards,

Sabra

[Thunder Bow]

I think it is wise for you to seek some outside help for yourself. A Therapist can help you through this.