[Hellion]

I just don't care anymore, I like people I appriecite them and yet I can never be satisfied. Just a self defeating pile or junk I am, don't know what exactly to do with taht....suppose I am just being lazy and should try harder then I would suceed at everything I try.... I wish this mentality of 'youre not trying hard enough would go the f(*** away. I just hate it, it annoys me to no end and I hate it. Almost driving me to the psych ward to be honest as I am sifck of hearing about how terrible it si that some tax money goes to helping people wiht FU**** disabilities that make it hard to function in the so called 'real' world its just BS. A big fat pile of BS even.

[Thunder Bow]

Get rid of those imprints that say those thing in your head. Then fertilize your garden with all that steer manure.

[Hellion]

How does one get rid of these imprints as you call it?

I forgot I posted this, was essentially a rant due to built up frustration over that particular issue.

[Thunder Bow]

You get rid of those imprints through awareness of them.

[Hellion]

Unfortunately the awareness of them doesn't seem to have that effect..I do sometimes wonder why. I am aware its a lot of stuff that gets internalized and even specific things that are more internalized things that I don't actually believe...but being aware of it doesn't seem to make it go away.

I think that is what makes it so frusterating, no matter how much I know from a logical perspective that such garbage is not actually what I agree with...I mean I don't think I am lazy and need to try harder I know I have various problems that make things difficult but I don't know that sort of crap still gets stuck in my head so then I don't know what to think.

[Ballistech]

Originally Posted by Hellion

I just don't care anymore, I like people I appriecite them and yet I can never be satisfied. Just a self defeating pile or junk I am, don't know what exactly to do with taht....suppose I am just being lazy and should try harder then I would suceed at everything I try.... I wish this mentality of 'youre not trying hard enough would go the f(*** away. I just hate it, it annoys me to no end and I hate it. Almost driving me to the psych ward to be honest as I am sifck of hearing about how terrible it si that some tax money goes to helping people wiht FU**** disabilities that make it hard to function in the so called 'real' world its just BS. A big fat pile of BS even.

I get you I feel worthless and I don't know what to do anymore iam not handicap I play sports know martial arts music play almost everything, iam artistic,I am everything in one and i hate myself so much