[bazzinga1990]

I know what you're thinking you probably got that I'm backing out because of some mushroom thing that's going on with you right now. And yes you're kind of right but I'm not backing out on purpose, I know it's for the best. And panic disorder and depression and to top it off I'm also a cutter. These past few days getting ready for the wedding, have been hell for me. My anxiety and panic attacks have been through the roof. I had to go to the hospital once just so they could administer something to calm me down. Its not a good feeling noon mean you cannot be the morning control the time. So with a lot of the lot of tears I decided not to be in this wedding. Because I know the pressure and anxiety would be way too much for me being that I would be a maid of honor where should I say would have been made of honor. Still sad about it but I'm still haven't relieved that that's not going to be on anymore. I would have rather try to face it but my cutting has been getting out of hand so I knew that this would be a wise decision to back off and not let myself destroy myself over a wedding. I will still enjoy the wedding but I don't know if I can stand myself being at the reception afterwards knowing that I was supposed to be the maid of honor. I don't know we'll see when we get there I guess.

[Frankbtl]

Bazzinga, I'd say that you should be giving yourself SO much credit right now for recognizing what might be in your best interests.
Real good that you've got that insight into how much things are/are going to effect you, you're standing up for yourself and your "well-being", and you're protecting yourself!!! Never feel bad about that!!! Call it a big, big achievement!!! Keep that up!!!
There will be other weddings I'm sure. And you've got plenty of time ahead of you to make an impact on that "scene" in one way or another whenever you're ready
AND you are going to this wedding anyway, well that's really got to be the most important thing. Just try to focus on enjoying it. You're there, they're there what else matters??!! Doesn't matter if you take a "back seat"!!
SO don't worry about the reception you go.......you don't go........that's fine you'll have been there for the main bit....the wedding.
Then again if you don't make it to the wedding....REMEMBER YOU FIRST (!!!) you do know you're going to have to get them a REAL good wedding present don't you!!
But whatever happens: EXCELLENT decision!!! It feels right, it IS right!! Again: Keep that up!!
Alison

[bazzinga1990]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Bazzinga, I'd say that you should be giving yourself SO much credit right now for recognizing what might be in your best interests.
Real good that you've got that insight into how much things are/are going to effect you, you're standing up for yourself and your "well-being", and you're protecting yourself!!! Never feel bad about that!!! Call it a big, big achievement!!! Keep that up!!!
There will be other weddings I'm sure. And you've got plenty of time ahead of you to make an impact on that "scene" in one way or another whenever you're ready
AND you are going to this wedding anyway, well that's really got to be the most important thing. Just try to focus on enjoying it. You're there, they're there what else matters??!! Doesn't matter if you take a "back seat"!!
SO don't worry about the reception you go.......you don't go........that's fine you'll have been there for the main bit....the wedding.
Then again if you don't make it to the wedding....REMEMBER YOU FIRST (!!!) you do know you're going to have to get them a REAL good wedding present don't you!!
But whatever happens: EXCELLENT decision!!! It feels right, it IS right!! Again: Keep that up!!
Alison

Thanks so much for your encouraging words you're always posting these excellent paragraph with valuable information

~warm hug from me to you~

[shabur]

Always follow your intuition, your gut. It is very wise.

If you go to the wedding, great. If not, that's great, too. If you go to the reception, great. If you go to the reception and leave early, great. If you don't go to the reception, that's great, too.

You'll know when the day comes what you are able to do. Take care of you!!! Don't worry what others might think. Those are their thoughts and they don't matter. YOU matter.

Be kind to yourself.