[brainhi]

Something I am working on and feedback or understanding is welcome.
I'm a very passionate person - which works very well in my life, career and so on. Others give great feedback when they can see my passion. I love this about myself. But that passion works in both ways for me. If I think my principles are being compromised - feel I am being treated unfairly or yelled at. I react with passion - and that gets me into trouble at times. I recognize that I mirror others emotions who I am having a discussion with.
I will fire back without filter and you can read my body language loud and clear. I know I need to manage my own behavior. Working on it. It's so difficult. I also do not forgive well and cop that attitude and lose respect and have a hard time trusting these people. Some of these people have to be in my life in order for me to carry on with my career - which is the most important thing I have done in my life thus far. "Heavy Sigh"

[LaborIntensive]

You know, I have sort have been this way myself. But usually you have to be really rude in the way your explaining something (work related) for me to do this. But I have for the longest time in life said some of the dumbest things in retort to other things friends were doing that was dumb. It cost me friends, make work rough and is the main reason I am seeing a psychologist these days. Even as a personal battle I would sway like a tree in a breeze and the day I swayed the wrong way was the day something stressful or questionable would come up and I would say the "wrong thing". What really sucks is not seeing the words as being inappropriate at the time. They just come out and I think nothing of it until weeks later (and that's even recall the event at all). I really hope all the best in your efforts and hopefully we can all work towards kindness and well chosen words.

[hvert]

I am not sure if this applies to you or not but are you positive that other people can 'read' you? I was surprised to find out that when I thought I was obviously really angry, other people couldn't tell. It doesn't help with the emotions themselves, but it makes me feel better about my interactions with people to know that what seems really angry to me isn't read as such by others.

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by LaborIntensive

You know, I have sort have been this way myself. But usually you have to be really rude in the way your explaining something (work related) for me to do this. But I have for the longest time in life said some of the dumbest things in retort to other things friends were doing that was dumb. It cost me friends, make work rough and is the main reason I am seeing a psychologist these days. Even as a personal battle I would sway like a tree in a breeze and the day I swayed the wrong way was the day something stressful or questionable would come up and I would say the "wrong thing". What really sucks is not seeing the words as being inappropriate at the time. They just come out and I think nothing of it until weeks later (and that's even recall the event at all). I really hope all the best in your efforts and hopefully we can all work towards kindness and well chosen words.

Thanks - you find and post the most interesting attachments w/your reponses. For me that fight or flight response kicks in high gear. Most my close friends understand "who I am" and I am pretty honest if I feel my reaction is not the best. My x was pretty passive aggressive. If he really pushed my buttons - not very often (he mostly ignored me) but if he did, watch the f*** out. I'm sure I scared him a few times. But he sure enjoyed the good, passionate part of my personality. Thanks for wishing me well - same to you. At least we see it and have the opportunity to work on it.

[brainhi]

Originally Posted by hvert

I am not sure if this applies to you or not but are you positive that other people can 'read' you? I was surprised to find out that when I thought I was obviously really angry, other people couldn't tell. It doesn't help with the emotions themselves, but it makes me feel better about my interactions with people to know that what seems really angry to me isn't read as such by others.

Thank you for the reply. I need to work on not reacting - they know it and can see and hear it. I do not hide it well. I know the other side of it is hard as well - people unaware of "how you might be feeling". It was very difficult to read my x. He did not say much but if he did...good or bad, he meant it. I'm sure he was everything I was not, and I was everything he was not - have to have good tools for that type of relationship - we did not.