[pkey]

Hello,

I am an engineer at a large university, so rational thought is highly praised in my current environment. I have been able to conform to this mentality extremely well - but I feel that I am ignoring or suppressing my emotional state. I realized this semester that this has been hindering my achievement, so I decided to start a journal in the blind hope that it will help me learn to be more secure in myself. I write in my journal every few days about the more "sticky" thoughts in my brain at the time, but I never really feel that my entries are very "deep" - and I feel that they should be in order for the journaling process to work. Is there a way to consciously try to make my journal entries more personal? I am alone in my endeavors and have no guidance on this issue, so any comments/questions/speculations would be much welcomed!

Thank you,
pkey

[BLUEDOVE]

Hi Pk,
Try what is called 'sentence stems'. You write a sentence which asks a question,then answer
it 6 to 10 different answers as quickly as you can
without stopping to 'think' of answer.The trick is to
keep writing no matter what comes out--even
gobbledegook! This BYPASSES the conscious mind,so that something important can come from
the subconscious. An example for your emotions
could be: "If I were to cast all fear aside and let
my emotions say what they want to say,I would . . . . . . . . .? "
Good Luck,
BLUEDOVE

[Muser]

Expecting your journal writing "should" be one way or another might be part of the problem. Why not write without a plan. It would be nice to just let it flow...be free...maybe not so serious as the rest of your day. Light/expressive/fun....random. If you seek a serious revelation it may never come.

Wishing you the best

[2much4u]

I am an Extremely emotional person. My journals reflect my emotions I hold nothing back. I LOVE getting together with pen and pad because I can really let everything out and say exactly what I'm feeling. Your journals are YOURS so make them what you want them to be period. I write in my journal when I feel I'm feeling things deeper than the "normies" can feel. I rant and rave I repeat myself, I swear. What ever I need to do to get my true feelings out there. Quite often it helps me ratchet myself down a bit and I can have a discussion about things in a way more tolerated by "normies". It helps me think clearer and I believe it helps me understand things much better, even why the normies may be responding as they will. I've been journaling for over 20 years now and quite often prefer pen and pad to people. =P Just me that's all. I hope I responded appropriately to your blog as I was a Psy Central virgin...this is my first time. Thanks for listening!

[pkey]

Thank you for the replies! The person who first encouraged me to start the journal also said to relax any preconceptions when I expressed some anxiety over the specifics of keeping a journal. I have seriously attempted to do so, and I am recognizing that I enjoy writing when I don't have to worry about coherence, technical content, or perfect grammar. As for the depth of my entries, I am a little afraid because I specifically aim to relax any kind of obsession with grammar in order to try to reach out to that part of myself that I adore, but can only see in certain circumstances. I am a serious person, and this trait is something that I really value about myself, but I am afraid that even when I try to relax any rules about my behavior in order to try and let out my inner self, I feel as though I am only recording a daily log of my activities.

I am genuinely confused, or maybe it's just some kind of defense - I don't know if I trust myself to know the difference - but I'm wondering if this frustration is a good sign and where I should go from here.

BLUEDOVE, thank you for the tip about sentence stems. Honestly, it sounds terrifying to have my mind react to things without the filter of my outer self. But that's probably the point, right? I will look more into it, and give it a shot!

[Thunder Bow]

Try doing some drawings and put some art into your journal. Get outside in nature alone, to get a deeper connection with yourself.