Review of the American society from an immigrant perspective

I come from a very warm, loving and caring country.
But when I say warm, I mean the good and the bad because people tell you in your face what's on their minds.

When I just arrived to the states 2 year ago I ad a culture shock.
Everyone was smiling to each other and repeated the same sentences like "Have a nice day" or "how are you"
For me it seems fake and distant. It made me feel they're like robots and they don't really care how's my day.
I got to know so many people here that suffer from depression and I truly believe it's a result of putting masks all day long. No body really share their emotions or being real with each other.
I love the U.S, but I guess I still have problems with fitting in when it comes to culture habits.

Where are you from?

There is a concept called "The Great American Melting Pot". Many will argue that it is a bad and evil concept. I disagree. These great United States of America were founded on the ideas of freedom and equality. Who we are today is an amalgam of all those who came before us. Our forefathers were not from a single country, a single county, and a single town. They came from around the Globe with different religions, cultures, food tastes, political views, economic means, etc. Each contributed the best (and sometimes the worst) of what they brought to this country and we adopted it as part of our greater society.

Perhaps it appears as if we wear a mask. Some of us might because it is the only way we are able to survive. You shouldn't assume that we wear masks purposely to deceive you.

I encourage you to study our history and culture. For the most part we are good honest people and we welcome you and what you contribute to our country and our culture.

I think it also depends on the region. Where I live people will smile all day but maintain a distance. Generally speaking it's East Coast: direct; West Coast: passive aggressive and "fake". But I am a daughter of an immigrant and their culture seems very indirect to me; basically they will say anything not to rock the boat, and I can put them off by being too direct.

No matter where one goes,once one changes the cultural environment,it will feel out of place.But there is a reason one chooses to live outside the country he's born,and no matter what is the reason , the country he/she chooses deserves the respect.That is the Alma Mater ,or feeding and supporting hand.There are difficulties for immigrants everywhere,but I truly believe US gives everyone more fair opportunities then any other country, and the fact of smiling at strangers and "fake" 'Have a nice day' is better,then seeing moody or gloomy faces,depressed from life they live,making everyone else around depressed .

I totally agree with wife22.........the 'have a nice day', depending on where you are when you hear it, can be fake or forced or an honest pleasentry offered to make the person they are talking to feel better, or at least appreciated. Depends on the state as well...so I can't really say that 'east coast' is direct (maybe north east) because the southeast (southern) states, they can and are quite indirect, however, nearly to a person, the 'have a nice dayisms' are meant. West coast, if you're in california, yeah I can see it as seeming phony. But again...northwest is going to be different that southwest------and all the states in between have their own ways as well.

The european countries also are different. In germany, I found berlin to be very busy, frenetic....and for the most part cool emotionally; in munchen, however, the people were tremendously friendly. In the Uk..in Liverpool, people again were busy, not particularly friendly, but in the southern parts of the country, and in wales particularly, it was all over the map as far as friendliness.....

Each place has it's own culture, the people, their own habits. I'm sorry you've found some of us fake in our well wishing...and relatively certain it's not meant to seem insulting. My mother was quirky--when people asked her 'how are you today'..she would often retort, 'just shyty, how are you?' just to catch there expression. Surprisingly a lot of people laughed...thereby acknowledging the pleasentry was just that....and not meant as an intrusive interrogation.

I can see your point on how fake people are here, putting on masks and faking smiles, etc...

As a teen, we visited New Zealand a couple times. There is a HUGE difference in the warmth there than here. I felt like the people in New Zealand were far more genuine in their salutatioms and overall demeanor than people are here. I suppose here, it feels more obligatory. It feels like people almost mutter to themselves in their heads (omg, i gotta smile now)"when seeing a person approaching into their space and are forced to put on a jolly smile. In New Zealand, I didn't get that impression. The genuine scope of their friendliness not only came out of their mouths, but also very much showed in their eyes as well as their posture. Theywwouldn't just ramble the obligatory hello and look straight at the floor afterwards, but they would hold their eye contact.

I'm sorry you've experienced this culture shock. I don't know what to tell you on how to handle it. I suppose you will get used to it in a way. If you are a friendly person by nature, just keep being yourself around people. Maybe they can learn something from you

Its funny but you reminded me...a year or so ago I had a gf come and stay with me for about a month and in that time we'd gone to walmart and I bought a dvd...when we got back home, I discovered it was a blue ray (and did not come with the regular dvd also) so I told her we had to return it, the next day as it was getting late and I didn't feel like going back up there that night. She made a face and said, 'ok' but without a lot of conviction.

The next morning we went back, and walked up to the return desk--we were lucky, as it was early so no line--I told the lady what I wanted to do, she marked off the receipt and said, "just show this to the clerk before you leave" We walked to the electronic area, I chose the correct dvd, I showed the marked receipt to the clerk...took the new dvd and receipt back to the return counter, she gave me the difference (the blue ray was more expensive) and we left.

When we got outside the store, my gf was flabbergasted. She said, "that would NEVER happen in Britain!! They would argue with you for a month before grudgingly giving you an exchange!!"

I hadda laugh. What a country!!!

Yeah. I live in NYC. People think I'm strange when they ask "how are you" and I actually tell them! Well, they asked! Welcome to America, land of coldness. Admitting how you really are is a sign of weakness here. I know, it's awful. It really is.