[glok]

fear [fēr] the unpleasant emotional state consisting of psychological and psychophysiological responses to a real external threat or danger. See also anxiety. Fear is a nursing diagnosis accepted by the North American Nursing Diagnosis Association, who defined it as a response to a perceived threat that is consciously recognized as a danger. Causative factors may include separation from one's support system in a potentially threatening situation such as hospitalization, diagnostic test, or treatment; knowledge deficit or unfamiliarity; language barrier; sensory impairment; and phobic stimulus or phobia.

Persons experiencing fear may verbalize increased tension, apprehension, diminished self-assurance, panic, or a jittery feeling. Objective signs include increased alertness; concentration on the source of fear; attack and fight-or-flight behaviors; and evidence of sympathetic nerve stimulation such as cardiovascular excitation, superficial vasoconstriction, and dilation of the pupils. Interventions are aimed at helping the individual to identify effective and ineffective coping behaviors, promote effective coping strategies, and maintain psychological equilibrium.
Miller-Keane Encyclopedia and Dictionary of Medicine, Nursing, and Allied Health, Seventh Edition. © 2003 by Saunders, an imprint of Elsevier, Inc. All rights reserved.

Fear has been in varying extents a constant companion in my life. My first memory is very traumatic and the adrenaline gushed forth. Subsequently, fear proved to be a real impediment to trying new things and, ultimately, the changes I needed to make to avoid a life of despair.

Useful articles:

Befriend Your Fear - It's More Than You Think - Pick the Brain | Motivation and Self Improvement
Taking on Anxiety and the Irrational Fears in Your Life | Psych Central
How to Keep Your Fears From Holding You Back | Psychology Today

What I learned in therapy and from my research is I had an overly broad concept of fear. Irrational fear, sometimes labeled a phobia, is more accurately a form of anxiety.

Once again, the best way to deal with fear/anxiety is to confront it. Forcing myself to step outside my comfort zone has been the suggested form of treatment for many of my maladies.

Change is hard work. Only I can do it. I am pleased I manage fear/anxiety better now.

[pegasus]

Thanks for sharing glok.

[Werewoman]

Thanks for this.

I went back into therapy and treatment earlier this year because I was convinced that my mother (abuser) was going to go after my young grandson. The basis of this was that I had learned over the years, and in previous therapy/treatment sessions that I needed the ability to protect myself and to take responsibility for my own safety. I learned to do that very well, and I no longer felt afraid that she could hurt me anymore.

Then it was like, one day I woke up and suddenly realized that just because I was safe from her didn't mean that she couldn't hurt me by hurting the people I love most. I went into a tailspin of constant hyper-vigilance and trying to figure out a way to stop it before it could happen. I started have some really scary revenge fantasies if she hurt anyone I love. It became all I thought about.

Now I am coming to realize that she is really just a very sick old woman who will never get better because she either can't or won't recognize how ill she really is and that my fears of her hurting my grandson are very irrational. He could be hit by a bus as well, and there's nothing I can do to stop that either. Should my irrational fear become reality, then I will deal with it accordingly. If she does anything illegal, I'll have her arrested. If not, and my grandson is hurt in any other way by her, then I will tell her in no uncertain terms to stay away from the people I love.

That's where I'm at right now dealing with my fear of her. Ask me again next week, and I might give you a different answer as healing wounds as deep as mine are take time - and a lot of therapy and meds.